


The Misfits of Summer

by otakuplier



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Do not trust that tag tho, Domestic Fluff, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Go check out Flames Flicker, HOMIEsexual, Humor, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'll probably make them reach third base, Jaemin is confident gay™, Jeno is a nosy neighbour, M/M, Neighbour AU, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Summer, Summer Love, Sunsets, Tags Are Hard, Underage Drinking, bros before hoes, everyone is rich, pg13 romance, smut is not here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-05-01 13:44:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14521848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otakuplier/pseuds/otakuplier
Summary: Jeno had almost given up on the thoughts of a happening summer. Just the casual hanging in the den with his elder brother Doyoung and the mandatory movie nights with Mark and Renjun. The lonesome hours to be filled with the melodies of black and white keys. Black and white, Jeno thought his summer was going to be.Until a certain neighbour blasts the confetti that summer is supposed to be on his face. With road trips to odd one day jobs... Jeno learns that junior year didn't necessarily had to suck... Being sixteen wasn't bad... Being in love was nice.





	1. Newcomer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nightmarish_Rose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightmarish_Rose/gifts).



> Thanks a ton for checking out my work!! \\(^~^)/
> 
> P.S. I have used British English. Enjoy!

 

 

It didn’t surprise Jeno when his alarm rung at six minutes past six o’clock in the morning.

 _Odd timing_ , his elder brother, Doyoung had said almost every day. It _was_ odd, even Jeno accepted that fact. As weird as it may be, it made him feel like he had slept an extra minute and that gave him an odd sense of calmness. The strange satisfaction of knowing he had been in bed _one_ extra minute than his family made him feel rebellious. It was odd, but who could blame him… he was sixteen and it was junior year.

Jeno wasn’t particularly excited about one week of extra school for juniors, which they had to endure right before summer break, which also happened to be this following week. Doyoung was a senior, who apart from being a general asshole, let Jeno hang out with his friends. Sometimes, he even let the younger steal beer cans from the fridge and sip it in a coffee mug without telling a soul about it. Doyoung was a good elder brother. But in Jeno’s opinion, as blood related siblings, it was their duty to get into wrestling matches over stupid things once in a while. The elder would gladly punch Jeno’s nose during one of those but before blood could ooze out of anything, either Jaehyun or Renjun would stop them.

Jeno took a cold shower and for his first day of school, chose to wear whatever his eyes landed on first. It was a t-shirt which he liked which kept him cool too, along with a nice pair of denims. He did take his time in setting his hair in place and used a rag cloth to dust off his Converse. Grabbing and hooking his bag over a shoulder, Jeno walked up to the kitchen. His house was two-storied but he slept in the ground floor room. His parents were doctors, barely ever home; so the third room was the brothers’ ‘den’. The second room, on the ground floor was his parents’, collecting dust atop the bed sheets at the moment. The last room was Doyoung’s, on the first floor. The ‘den’ was adjacent to his room.

Doyoung was blowing his coffee and scrolling past stuff on his phone.

“Yo bro, where my food at?” Jeno slid into the high rise chair in front of the kitchen island, licking his lips in anticipation of some nice breakfast.

Doyoung snorts in response, and as the younger had eventually come to expect, he threw an apple at him, “Think fast!”

Jeno caught the fruit successfully, smirking in a smug manner at his elder brother who actually didn’t care at all.

“So thoughtful… anyway, see you later!” Jeno slung his bag on his shoulders and wiped the apple with his t-shirt.

“Jeno, I hope you get egged!”

“Well, I’ll be sure to hope not. Bye!”

“Rot in hell, lil’ brother!”

Jeno smiled as he closed the door and Doyoung’s voice became distant. He took a bite of his apple and began his walk to school. If he could jump fences and run through bushes unhurt, he was just six blocks away from school. Sadly he couldn’t, and that’s why he found himself at the bus stop soon after. He spotted Renjun and Mark going through a manga with tensed faces.

On approaching, he leaned in over the manga which had his two friends engrossed. “Heyo!” Jeno grinned. The other boys didn’t seem to like Jeno’s interruption but nonetheless looked up and greeted back.

“It is like they have deprived us of one week of summer vacation...” Mark sighed and Renjun nodded slightly.

“Damn Mark, you’re right, we are being tortured by hairy Vikings.” Jeno felt proud of his joke and waited for the reaction...which never came.

“Do you think Miss Jung will have a beard today?” Renjun asked seriously.

“If she does, I am setting her up on Tinder.”

“Why do I feel like she’ll get a good amount of right swipes?” Mark bites his lips, like someone does under fright. The three cracked up.

When the much awaited yellow school bus came into their sight, Renjun clicks his tongue and his eyes open wide.

“Jeno, someone is moving in to your next door!”

Mark jerks his head to Jeno and adds in his input too. “My mother said they have a son and he’s our age. Also, I sense that he may be gay…”

Jeno’s body responds only to Mark’s last sentence. “G-Gay?  Seriously?”

“Yeah, I mean amongst us three; all of us are almost gay!” Mark states.

Jeno coughs purposely. “I haven’t even had my first kiss yet, no sexual experiences, and watched porn like once… come to think of it− I may even turn out to be asexual...”

“Yeah right, I keep saying that, first, you don’t have to be...you know, ‘special’ or anything. Next time we are together in a closet for seven minutes, I am not going to hear you mumbling twinkle-twinkle little star.” Renjun smirks, almost cynical like a serial killer.

“Dude I am claustrophobic!”

“Says the guy who’d rather be alone in a room packed with instruments than have fun with his two sole true and loyal friends on weekends...” Mark nudges Jeno lightly.

“I am so sorry to break that ice cube that your heart is...”

The three kept joking throughout the bus ride and even till they reached the hallway of their school. The school was quite empty as the freshmen weren’t there to be bullied, neither were the sophomores to borrow last year projects and research from, nor seniors to hang and look cool with.

But, as obvious as Luna’s bigger chest, some people still had their fun by bullying their classmates. Jeno was thankfully physically strong enough to not be bullied and morally aware to not bully anyone. When Renjun announced his ‘coming out of the closet’ in the school locker room, he hadn’t known that he would return the next day with a black eye. Jeno secretly took the matter in his hands...and let’s just say that Jungho never had the flu for a week.

The classrooms were nothing but dusty. Jeno, Mark and Renjun went and sat in the corner: Mark in the last seat and Renjun his bench mate. Jeno preferred being alone in front of them because he liked space.

Distance is good. Jeno had it engraved in his mind and heart. He would preach this to everyone he knew. He kept his distance from his parents and was able to bid them farewell every time they walked out the door. On the other hand, clingy Doyoung sniffed back his tears. Jeno had never seen him cry though, but it was the blood that they shared. Jeno always knew what his brother felt.

The bell rang in the hallway like an alarm, irritating and loud. They were aware about their class teacher, Miss Lou, for who could ignore her name written with about fifty shades of chalk on the board. So, when the door opened, Jeno had expected a woman in a her thirties wearing a white shirt with a knee length pencil skirt and black heels or anything a teacher looks like, but definitely...definitely not this− definitely not a _boy_ wearing a Led Zeppelin t-shirt and cargos with converse. Definitely not a guy whose hair was a lighter shade of chestnut brown, bag hanging off one shoulder and eyes not looking up but down, drilling a hole through the floor.

Comments are shouted at the unusual sight and mumbling of students is no longer ‘mumbling’.

“Dude, Miss Lou is a mister…”

“Dude, he isn’t even a mister…”

“Dude, he is cute nonetheless...”

Mark and Renjun gasp at Jeno’s comment and cackle in the worst way possible.

‘Miss Lou’ keeps standing there and drilling his underground pipelines. Soon after, the actual pencil skirt and white shirt attired Miss Lou− very much in her thirties− appears into the class. The greetings are exchanged and with a smile Miss Lou wraps an arm around Led t-shirt guy. “Everyone, this is Jaemin, he’ll be your classmate from today… treat him nicely and now, young man, introduce yourself.”

If Jeno thought that Jaemin was shy, he was right. He was stuttering and shaking but it was quirky introduction, making Jeno partly wrong too. His grey eyes were uneasy and shaking lightly. Even with these small giveaways, he was standing still and looking at the new boy like that...he seemed like the guy who was downright outright.

“Hello everyone, I am Jaemin Na. I look forward to knowing all of you. I don’t know, I kind of don’t have anything else to say…”

Miss Lou stops him and butts in. “So Jaemin, pick a place...”

In that moment, Jeno was glad he kept his bag up next to him. He didn’t want this fresher sitting next to him, simply because it would break the trio’s streak for having last two benches to themselves for all of middle school and half of high school.

Jeno avoided eye contact.

Jaemin thankfully began walking between the middle two rows. Jeno felt Renjun’s hand on his shoulder. All he could do was sigh.

“It is like they are announcing the tributes from our district.” Mark says with a highly audible gulp. “May the odds be ever in our favour.” But screw Mark and his bad luck bringing mouth because Jaemin was past the last benches of the middle rows and was currently walking towards the three trembling boys.

And as if there was no other option, Jaemin nudged Jeno’s bag and scooted into his new seat with his partner Jeno.

Jeno sighed and admitted defeat.

“Hi, I am Jeno Lee… Why don’t you sit with Chungha over there?” Renjun fingers dug into his shoulder; the three hoping for Jaemin to get up and sit with Chungha.

Much to their surprise, cargo pants snorts and flashes an almost vicious smirk. “I wanted space to sit freely and guessing that Chungha is the big boob girl, I’d rather not spend my junior year with awkwardness and big boobs…”

Jeno’s eyes flew wide open, so wide that his eye balls had a chance of falling out. Renjun’s grip on his shoulder loosens and his mouth drops open. It wasn’t because Jaemin had used the word ‘boobs’ freely but because Chungha was right next to him and glaring at him like he had no time left to breathe. Jeno could’ve warned him but… How could you stop someone once they’ve crossed the line?

Jeno nodded subtly and resumed cursing his new partner for breaking their streak.

Somehow, the day passed and it was lunch break. The much awaited lunch break. Jeno yawned unabashedly and Mark made a face at him. “Bro, manners?”

“Manners? Says the one who farted twice in the empty theatre.”

“Yeah, yeah, we learn from our mistakes!”

They joke their way to the corner bench in the cafeteria.

They weren’t outcasts who were forced to sit alone in the corner; it was just that there wasn’t any place left to sit. They were known a good amount. Their reputation was good. Mark was smart and was in Astrology club for half a year, Renjun was in the Council for one and a half year, and Jeno was Doyoung’s younger brother. Jeno didn’t really care about why he was known, all he cared for was that he wasn’t bullied nor targeted in any way.

In the last few minutes of the break, the whole cafeteria went quiet after they heard a loud noise. Jeno jerked his head to the respective direction only to find Jaemin standing opposite to Taekwon with a hand flat on the table. He must’ve slammed his hand onto the surface. A vein popping out of his neck, Jaemin growled. Taekwon got up too, walked over to Jaemin and leaned and whispered some triggering words. Jaemin grits his teeth and apart from shoving a kid aside, coolly walks out of there.

“Whoa! He didn’t…” Mark’s eyes were as wide open as the rest.

Jeno tried to figure what caused the ruckus. It all became crystal clear when he saw Chungha and Taekwon giggling in the hallway.

Taekwon was dating Chungha and Jaemin said some stuff about her which she discreetly told her Hulk of a boyfriend and said boyfriend called cargo pants over during lunch break and thus started a heated blame game and death threats by Bulky the Boyfriend. Cargo pants took it all until he couldn’t and then slammed his hand onto the table like a movie scene. Taekwon went to Jaemin and whispered a shitty curse like ‘bitch’ in his ear and went his way. Still angry Jaemin shoved a kid in his way and exited as calmly as possible.

He discussed his thesis with Mark while warming up for P.E. Mark nodded, agreeing to the presented possibility. Renjun was a smart kid, and instead of basketball and football preferred to dissect frogs in advanced biology. The other two decided to discuss this in detail with him after school as ‘cargo pants’ was Jeno’s unwanted partner.

It was somewhere around the middle of Literature, the last period of the first day, when the teacher had gone out of the class to sought out something, Jaemin poked his finger into Jeno’s arm a few times. Jeno hummed in response, immersed in his How to Kill a Mockingbird.

“Where and what is the ‘crib’?” Jaemin had used air quotes but Jeno was a sloth and missed it.

“It’s a place where one on one fights happen. It’s underneath the bleachers on the field−” Jeno processed his and Jaemin’s words. “Wait, why the fuck do you want to know about the crib?!” He almost shouts.

Could it be, Taekwon…? Jeno kept thinking of Taekwon and his punches, his bony knuckles…

“You know Taekwon?” _No Jaemin, no._ Jeno thought.

“Yes.”

“You know about him and Chungha?” Jeno could only hope to not know.

“Yes.”

“Then you very well know my reason.” Jaemin flashes a cynical smile; a killer smile was more apt. Beautiful, a single dimple, and his eyes forming a slight crease, child like… but you could sense the tense jaw line and notice the lightly furrowed eye brows. It could make one trust him easily, fall right into his arms only to realize he let you fall.

“Dude, Taekwon is not one to be messed with… He once broke a kid’s teeth, not tooth but teeth. Actually, you know what, I’ll take you there.” Jeno wanted to slap his hand over his mouth and stop the word vomit which had already landed on Jaemin. Thankfully, Jaemin took it like a casual offer and said “’Kay” like the cool and distant kid of the block.

~*~

 

“You what?!” Renjun shakes Jeno vigorously. They were waiting for Jaemin outside the washroom. He liked to freshen up before show time.

“You are going to escort cargo pants to a fight. With Taekwon. As an ally.” Well, cheers to such supportive friends.

Jeno just shuffled his body weight from his left foot to his right foot.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” And the washroom door flies open and out steps Jaemin, nodding at Jeno. Jeno sure had a fucked up brain.

While he walked to the bleachers with Jaemin beside him, Jeno let his mind rewind and remember exactly why he regretted walking to the crib. There had only been three major fights in the crib. First was the one with Taekwon and the kid who lost three of his teeth. Second, a girl on girl turned sexual and lastly, Jeno and Justin. The Jeno and Justin fight took place after a football match. Thankfully, both were so badly hurt that they couldn’t be recognized and thus their fight is remembered as ‘Brutal’.

‘Brutal’ was indeed brutal. The reason was simple yet complicated. If you witnessed the entire scene that led up to the fight, you would know but for others like Doyoung, it would take you two punches and a slap from your best friend to understand.

Let’s just say that, firstly, Mark, Renjun and Jeno became the closest that freshman year and secondly, Justin now knew that having an elder brother does let you have an upper hand in punching the shit out of someone.

Extracting his mind from his thoughts and returning to reality, Jeno realised they were already at their destination. Soon after, they spotted Chungha and Taekwon. A bunch of other kids with phones out to record this fight stood in a neat circle.

“So, there it is.” Jeno slowed his pace until Jaemin was leading them.

“Well, is there going to be a fight?”Jaemin asked innocently, as if he had no idea that there was going to be a possibility of a fight after bitching about the school’s hunkiest jock’s girlfriend. Nonetheless, Jeno stopped his feet and rooted them still.

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you…” Even as Jaemin smiled at him and Taekwon called him out, Jeno felt this uneasy churn in his stomach. Why did it feel like he was a participant in the fight? He could tell everyone the truth, which no one would believe, or he could slip away from there as soon as the fight got messy and attracted more attention.

But just like a scrawny kid without his spectacles, nothing ever went Jeno’s way. As soon as he began to divert his steps a bit, Taekwon snorted. “So you brought Chicken Little with you? He won’t be able to protect your tight little ass.”

Jeno never understood why his schoolmates called him Chicken Little. He did not look like the character and he wasn’t even a chicken metaphorically. School sucked.

“Same reason you brought the ‘got-nothing-better-to-do’ crowd with you.” It wasn’t exactly a nice comeback but no one paid it attention.

The fight began in the most uneventful way. Jeno and Justin were more interesting. Justin shot a surprise punch and Jeno, which he skilfully dodged only to hit him with an uppercut.

When Jeno opened his mind to the reality, Jaemin was in a good place. There was a tear on Taekwon’s lip and he was limping too. Jaemin himself had a red and watery eye which would certainly be surrounded by black soon. They kept punching and kicking and hissing. Jeno snorted a bit. The teachers could have a more interesting after-school fight than these two. They were just throwing punches and wailing out in pain. Jaemin surprisingly held his ground for a longer period than expected. He even popped a vein on his neck. Taekwon looked so annoyed and agitated that it felt likeh he could run a road roller over everyone and not regret it. Even the crowd by now was just scrolling through the internet and looking at dog videos. Jeno also almost got tired of this crappy encounter until Taekwon rose his hand up in the air, silencing the completely bored crowd, who was doing everything but paying attention to the fight.

“Y’all, get ready, I am ending this.” Taekwon said with smoke bursting out of his ears. Sometimes Jeno’s vision didn’t coincide with the reality but he preferred it that way.

Jaemin simply snorted before a large hand wrapped its long fingers around his neck. Jaemin coughed once.

Taekwon dug his thumb a centimetre deep into Jaemin’s neck. He coughed twice.

Jaemin’s eyes were watery and he gripped onto Taekwon’s wrist, so tightly it seemed as if he was begging him to let him go. Somewhere, Jeno knew he wanted Jaemin to win and this situation wasn’t clearly in his territory. He felt uneasy. Jaemin had proved to be a tough one regardless of his build and Taekwon couldn’t bear with it. So he decided to take the dickwad way out and put the thin one in a choke hold. Jeno counted Jaemin coughing twice.

Jeno couldn’t take it. After all, what did Jaemin do wrong? He just said that Chungha had boobs− nothing more and nothing less. Taekwon shouldn’t be this mad over such a small thing. The least he should be is thankful to Jaemin for not sitting next to Chungha and showing respect to the fact that he wasn’t going to sit next to a girl who is already taken. Jeno then figured that Taekwon just wanted to establish his ‘supremacy’ over the juniors. He was doing this out of spite. He felt embarrassed to be at par with a ‘scrawny ass’. _This isn’t a high school drama Taekwonie_... Jeno gritted his teeth a bit.

Jaemin’s loud gasp brought him back. Jeno didn’t hesitate one bit before stepping forward and kicking the side of Taekwon’s abdomen. Taekwon just shifted a bit and snorted. Snorts were getting a little irritating for Jeno. He took a step forward and taking in a deep breath, jabbed a strong kick in the same place as before. Mr. Hunky Boyfriend lost his balance, almost tripping over his own feet. His grip on Jaemin’s neck was long gone and Jaemin was now sprawled up on the grass, coughing.

Jeno didn’t prefer the possibility of Taekwon recovering and punching him till he died, so he took a chance at the slight advantage of a stumbling Taekwon and landed a kick on his back. The latter hissed in pain as his knees gave in and he knelt down. Jeno walked around in front of him. He shoved his hands in his pockets and planted a strong kick on his chest. Taekwon coughed− spit dripping from his mouth like a dog.

“Stop… Please… It’s almost pathetic now.” Jeno laughed and it dripped poison. “Listen here Taekwon… You better not lay another finger on my friends… or it won’t be just kicks.’

Chungha apologized to Jeno and promised on behalf of her useless boyfriend.

Jaemin coughed and Jeno’s eyebrows wrinkled, creating a ripple and changing his stern expression to a concerned one. He helped Jaemin up on his feet and wrapping one of his arms around himself, he dragged them out of that hellhole.

~*~

The sun was orange now, almost a few hours before its shift would be over. Jeno paid the vendor and holding the ice cream cones, walked over to Jaemin. They had settled on a bench in a park near the school. Earlier, Jaemin had started fainting for quite some time so Jeno suggested resting and energizing for awhile.

They had eaten hot-dogs and now Jeno had bought ice cream. He settled down next to Jaemin who had his knees up with his chin resting on them.

“Here…” Jeno flashed the cone in front of Jaemin.

The patient took it without much hesitation. He seemed lost in thoughts.  Jaemin would’ve won if it wasn’t because of the choking. Jeno wondered why he had helped him. Was it because he felt pity or because he wanted to just fucking kill Taekwon…. Or did feel an urge to protect Jaemin?

“Thanks and sorry. Thanks for saving my life and sorry for being an ass and intruding your friend circle.” Jeno found it unique and amusing, the surety and confidence in Jaemin’s voice. It sounded like he knew everything and anything. He sounded so bold, exactly like Jeno did when he indirectly called Jaemin his friend earlier. But Jeno was more surprised to realize that he had been too obvious about his problem with the boy sitting in front of him. It seemed as if he was carrying a poster screaming−‘I hate Jaemin! I don’t want a bench mate!’ It wasn’t even a problem. In the end, he still cracked jokes and passed comments with his friends quietly in between classes and Jaemin didn’t complain. Jeno lets out a rather dry laugh at his own childish behaviour. Could he be more immature?

“You know, I am sorry too… I mean, I was being childish… You wouldn’t have gotten in this mess if I had not been a bitch.” Jeno licks the ice cream, swallowing his words along with it.

Jaemin chuckles and dusts his pants. “So you agree you are a bitch?”

“More or less, depends.”

“Wow, modest much?” Then he stops, letting the faint rustling of leaves fill in the air.

After they finish their cones, they keep thinking about mindless things while sitting on the bench.

“Jeno Lee, the sun’s setting and so should our rendezvous.”

“Jaemin Na, I agree with you. Our mothers might go King Kong on us if we are late.”

Laughing a bit they get up and walk away…in the same direction.

“I know you are considerate but I can manage.” Jaemin looks at Jeno in the most intense stare ever.

“What? I am heading home…”

This time, the boy stops and looks at Jeno. “Listen, you seriously shouldn’t worry about me…’

Jeno keeps walking at a slow pace, kicking small pebbles along the way.

“Listen, Jeno, I am really thankful but just go home.” Jaemin lets out a loud breath and admits defeat. Jeno was tired, his calves aching from the kicking and walking. All he could think about was a nice shower and some time with Doyoung in the ‘den’. He could almost forget about Jaemin if it weren’t for his constant bickering. But fortunately, the noise stops and Jeno is able to hear the soft breeze and his feet brushing against the road.

He walks up to his neighbourhood. Before opening the door of his house, Jeno turns back once and notices the plain old surroundings; same dog in the lawn of the house in front of his, and same old locked door. No Jaemin. As Jeno sucked in a deep breath so as to let out a loud sigh of relief, a familiar shout makes him cough a bit.

“Howdy, neighbour!”

He almost breaks his neck as he turns towards his right and notices Jaemin winking flirtatiously and clicking open the door of the house right next to Jeno’s. Cue worthless investigation thoughts which could simply be answered by asking Jaemin but Jeno can only handle so much awkwardness for one day. One thing was certain− Jaemin had some relation to Mrs. Hee.  Jeno shakes his head and pushes open the door. He leans against the back of the door to shut it as he lets out a breath. He slides the straps of his bag off his shoulders and runs upstairs. With closed eyes, his fingers wrap slowly around the doorknob, quietly twisting it until there was faint click and pushing it open with slight push. He opens his eyes and heaves out a ‘finally’.

His gaze follows the direction of a soft gasp, sounding like it had been emitted by a deer on alert. Jeno’s eyes land on a very startled Doyoung…eating food near the keyboard.

“Fuck… Jeno, I am sorry… Holy fuck, don’t look at me like that!” Doyoung gets up and quickly picks up his food, avoiding Jeno’s killer gaze. Jeno takes quick steps towards the keyboard, bending down to inspect it. Brushing his finger ever so gently over the keys, almost as it was a delicate artefact, he scans every single key. He notices the shuffling of Doyoung’s feet as he escapes from the grips of the Grim Reaper. Jeno lets him slip past as the keys seem to be unaffected and untainted.

The Yamaha PSR Sxx* keyboard was his life. The one thing that helped him get over anything and everything. He was able to play out his soul on that beautiful piece of grace. You could consider him giving up his life for it…and even taking one actually. He blows gently over the keys and smiles once he is calmed down. Jeno was crazy, no denying that.

The ‘den’ was the master bedroom converted into a gaming/ recording room. As you entered through the door, there would be a computer table with a nice big monitor on the right and the Yamaha next to it in the corner; a bass guitar and an acoustic one on the left of the computer. On the wall in front of the door there was a flat screen television, bigger than one down at Jaehyun’s, a console on a table below it. The television was connected to a surround sound system, great for movie nights. On the left of the door was a big window (which in the most unfortunate of possibilities, faced Mrs. Hee’s house; their window an arm length away)  and in the corner, between the television and the window was a shelf with all the games, a few books, board games and a lot of snacks. In the centre of the room was the world’s most comfortable couch and next to it was a leather recliner. There was small coffee table in front of it. This room was a compilation of hard earned birthday gifts, odd jobs during summer and putting up a nice face for the third cousins on Thanksgiving.

Jeno settled into the recliner and turned on the television. Soon after, with a Lego movie playing, he closed his eyes and fell asleep like a tired bunny, dreaming about his amazing summer.

 

 


	2. Melodrama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day two of the newcomer and things get a little heated. (This fic is pg 13, get your minds out the gutter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry for the late update. I was working on another fiction with my friend and writer's block did pay a visit. Chapter three will hopefully be up sooner.

Jeno woke up with a throbbing pain in his neck and head. He rubbed his neck and blinked his eyes as he took notice of his environment. The boy was on the carpeted floor of the den and his body was twisted like Joker’s mind. Simply put, his left leg was on the couch, head underneath it, upper body mostly on the floor with a compliment of his arm on the coffee table. He had apparently sprained his neck because of the weird position and to put a cherry on top to this beautiful cake, he banged his head on the underside of the sofa while trying to lift it. He gathered himself and checked the time on the television which was currently streaming teleshopping. The information bar flashed 5:30 a.m., very early for Jeno. Usually, this would be the time he slept at.

Rubbing the heel of his palm deep into his eyes, he got up. His body ached from head to toe and if he turned his head toward his right, it felt like someone pushed a fucking sword through his neck. Once Jeno was awake, sleep could not come back around for another sip. His eyes wandered its tranquil gaze over to the big window, its white curtains letting out the faintest of sunshine. But there wasn’t really a reason for him to walk up there like a fucking sexy-bed-head-guy in a life insurance or housing property commercial and look out at the mountains and sheep and trees and cows and whatnot because all his eyes could see past the glass was the perfectly placed window of Mrs. Hee’s first floor room. He never did dare to look there, never. The possibilities of her being naked are more than those of Doyoung not being jealous of Jaehyun’s girlfriend. The never-could-be-more-true words had come out of Taeyong’s mouth as he had stopped Mark from looking beyond the curtains.

Taeyong Lee: also preferred to be known as the badass of the group of lame llamas. He was an unusual jock...in a good way. He was dumb, athletic and loved staring at butts. He was unusual in the way he cut through stereotypes. The guy didn’t go for an excessively separated group of people and neither did he find it suitable for him to opt for the excessively attention grabbing group (the one which Taekwon was an esteemed member of). He opted to stick up with his bended-sexualities-teenage-boy group where he could eye Ten up and down all day and still pretend to be a straight stripper pole in a gay strip club. He was considerate and Jeno owed him for making his wardrobe worthy of respect. Also, he was Mark’s elder brother.

Then we have Ten. He was the Thai senior with the world’s most complicated name− Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul. He was Taeyong's eye candy− slim torso, defined jaw line, sexy undercut, thigh muscles and a sculpted perfection of a face. If you’d want to describe him in three words, nothing fit him better than ‘multilingual sarcastic bitch’. His wisdom and knowledge and the mere fact that every single person was terrified of him made him the leader of the group, indirectly. Usually he was quiet and didn’t mind humid rains or hot summer nights. The one fear he had, the one thing that had the power to break him was fruits. He hated them like oil hates water. Ten had proved to be quite a listener during Renjun’s case, in fact, he knew about it eight months before Jeno began questioning and pining Renjun. He was a guardian within a handsome devil. Also, he didn’t mind occasionally undressing Taeyong with his eyes.

The duality of each person in this group was so abstract and unique− Jeno couldn’t have wanted it another way.

Like the way when Mark says he was watching Yuri, he doesn’t mean ‘yuri’− the girl on girl romance genre. What he actually means by ‘yuri’ is the anime Yuri on Ice.

Like the way Renjun smiled as he dug a blade for the first and the last time into his skin. His smile was unaltered, like he was enjoying it.

Like the way Jeno beat Justin and Taekwon while it never actually seemed like he paid attention to his friend’s life. Like the way he noticed Doyoung’s invisible tears each Christmas night. Like the way he knew Taeyong’s fear of being judged, being misjudged. Like the way he saw Ten talk to Justin’s mom in the park after the fight.

Jeno liked it, but apart from his friends, nothing about his life was worth a descriptive paragraph exceeding a hundred words.

Jeno brushes his teeth and heads to the kitchen, jumping a bit towards the end. He opened the refrigerator hoping to make a decent lunch for day two. A nice ham and cheese sandwich would be nice. He set out the ingredients on the work table and proceeded to make his ‘piece de resistance’. After packing his lunch in clear wrap and paper-bagging it, he poured himself some cereal and milk (and yes, he did put in milk first). Next, he dragged his feet to the bathroom and showered. The summer was getting worse every year but that just gave Jeno more excuses for cold showers. While the cool droplets ran down his torso, he had a weird thought, a very weird thought...more like a feeling that someone was on the other side of the shower curtain and was watching him.

“You shave down there?” comes Doyoung’s voice, confirming Jeno’s suspicions.

Fuck the translucent curtain.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Just want to keep up with my little brother’s exciting life... you know, if he’s a line or a rainbow...”

“I am very much still confused but I like hygiene and I would prefer the Savannah landscape over the Amazon any day.”

“Yeah, I agree... but I don’t go all the way−”

“What about Jaehyun’s preference? Towel, please.”

Doyoung hands him the towel and wrapping it around his waist, Jeno steps out of the bathroom. The elder falls on his back on Jeno’s bed, bouncing a bit. He grabs a cosco ball and throws it up and down.

“Yeah, I don’t really know. I befriended him because I had a crush on him... I mean, there came a time where I genuinely liked the friendship...but now it just eats me up!”

“Would you prefer him to eat you up?”

“Ha! Look at you, using big words when you haven’t even been driven.” Doyoung wiggles his eyebrows with the most perverted expression he could muster.

“I have not, but I surely don’t plan to do it my brother’s room.”

“Yeah sure, I did say sorry you know? But I feel like I will always be a virgin until Jaehyun takes me on...” Jeno gags as he sees Doyoung bite his lip seductively.

“Fix my hair?”

“Sure... You haircut is so sexy this time... I swear to god everyone is going to drool as you come out of the water at the beach...”

Jeno winks at him through the mirror. Doyoung was an interesting fellow. After fifteen minutes of a low budget Princess Diaries transformation, Jeno heads out the door to the bus stop where he sees Mark and Renjun conversing with−

“Jaemin.”  
  
Mark and Renjun turned their heads toward Jeno with faces that screamed ‘oh my balls’. “Jeno Lee! What the actual shit did you do to Taekwon?!” Mark jerked Jeno’s soul out of his body.

“What do you mean, he started fucking choking him! Like, the fuck was I supposed to do? Watch and laugh? Jesus Mark!” Jeno tries to pry his friend’s fingers off himself.

Mark stopped immediately and Renjun’s terrified black irises focused now on an awkwardly smiling Jaemin. “He choked you?”

“Yeah, like he just grabbed my neck... It wasn’t ‘I-can’t-breathe’ intense...” the boy mumbled.

Jeno was perplexed and confused for a second but it was easy to figure out. Jaemin hadn’t told them about the choking. Wow, Jeno must’ve seemed superiorly stupid with him just kicking Taekwon for no reason.

“He just grabbed your neck? Who was the one coughing like a stuck CD?” Jeno walked closer to Jaemin who gulped loudly. Staring right into his gray orbs with twisted eyebrows of concern, “who was the one sprawled into a ball on the ground after his loose grip was gone? And who was the one who couldn’t bear to stand up and walk for even thirty seconds? Jaemin, please tell me who was it?”

Renjun was quick to interfere. “Jaemin, that’s serious. Are you fine now?”

“Bro, don’t worry about Taekwon messing with you from now on. You’ve got your new buds now!” Mark butts in.

Jeno had had the same friends since his childhood and he had forgotten how easy it was to make one. He kept a distance between him and Jaemin, placing a firm hand on his shoulder, he smiled wide at him. “Yeah, Mark’s right, I didn’t lie yesterday. You’ve got new friends now Jaemin!” Well so much for Jeno’s so-called strong and willing mentality.

Jaemin flashed all three a smile and Jeno swore to himself that the way his eyes squinted to allow his light pink, slightly chapped lips to curve upwards almost symmetrically...It looked like a flower petal, a soft petal left a little dry. Halt the train there boy. Jeno shook his head, but who in their right mind would be able to forget the light red tint over Jaemin’s freckles, which were non-existing if you weren’t Jeno.

“Hey Jeno, he’s pretty, we know it. Stop eyeing him.”

Jeno jabbed his elbow ‘lightly’ into Mark’s chest.

On the way to school, Mark and Renjun got acquainted to Jaemin. The guy talked about a ton of things but all Jeno thought while he looked over his seat was how Jaemin’s smile could end wars. He cursed every time sunlight fell on his lips giving it an orange to pink gradient, like a-

“Jeno what do you think about that?” And screw Mark.

“Yeah sure.” Jeno found it better to agree to whatever shit they were talking about rather than having Mark tease him the whole day.

“So, it’s decided then, Jeno will protect Jaemin this whole summer from Taekwon.” Jeno had no strength to act surprised or shocked, not even to nod. He just stared out the window, counting the number of people seen from the bus.

School was just another blur, with Taekwon being absent it really went by smoothly. Till the time Mark and Renjun turned left at the crossroad, they had juiced out every drop of Jaemin’s life, half of which Jeno heard only because History lectures were more deadbeat than the Jaemin interview. Jeno wasn’t interested in knowing about Jaemin’s life, partly because he wanted to learn stuff in school and partly because he still hated Jaemin a bit for being his partner. He suddenly realised why exactly he did not like him. It was simply because Mark and Renjun had found an upgraded friend which had cool new features and the old rusty version was no longer required. He knew that he shouldn’t worry about them leaving him because they never would but when you have only two friends to survive on, you do feel jealous with every new friend in the circle. Jaemin was cool and all, and Jeno was an extremely jealous bitch.

*~*~*

“Mark and Renjun... are they dating?” Jeno almost chokes on his own spit. Jaemin’s sudden question had definitely brought Jeno back to reality and along with it, he also spiralled back into his own thoughts again.

“They aren’t.” Jeno said with firmness and confidence, sure about the fact because he knew them, he knew Mark and Renjun.

“But they definitely have a thing for one another. I could feel it. Ha, it must be eating them up. They must be dying to tell someone... you should talk to them.” Jaemin’s words were like twisting a screwdriver further into Jeno’s gut. It was like pressing a thumb into a bloody wound. It was painful.

But Jeno being Jeno just turned back at Jaemin, grit his teeth and with glaring eyes and said, “Stop it. Stop taking my friends away from me and stop making me feel that I am selfish and please stop talking to me. Just stop meddling with my life. When I said that you were our friend, I meant a ‘greet and meet’ one, not a bro who knows everything. I have been through lots of shit with both of them. I have seen them not talk for four months and I have seen them fake date. The things that we have gone through together...it makes who I am and it made me the Jeno who kicked Taekwon. So, I don’t want a random dude to come and tell me that I don’t know about my friends’ feelings for-“

“See Jeno, thanks for helping me and all but can you please stop making me feel as if I am indebted to listen to you and feel inferior to you, okay? And as for the Mark and Renjun thing, I am just saying what I saw. I have friends like them too, y’know? I just care about Mark and Renjun. I think that it hurts them to have these feelings because they are worried about you. Because you helped them through some big shit, because you stood by them. It makes them hate the fact that they want to have something more intimate with each other. They know that if they do date and whatnot, you’d feel left out. And honestly, looking at the state of ‘leftout-ness’ you feel with just me knowing a bit more about them than you, I think they should have an affair behind your back! You aren’t some messiah Jeno! Don’t make people feel entitled to your deeds or your help or your kindness! At first I thought you were cool and all but I guess you are a STUCK UP SELFISH BITCH WHO DOESN’T SEEM TO HAVE A FUCKING HEART!”

“Just fuck off Na.”

“I am not going to fuck off Lee. Just because you think why the fuck I became so woven into your life in one day, it doesn’t mean that you can pull me out like a thread. You helped me yesterday and I feel indebted, but only because I myself want to, not because you make me feel indebted...apart from right now... I am telling you all this because I have been in their shoes, okay? I have been the friend who fell for another in our group. I have been the one to mess up. Unlike the two sided liking, mine was just me. When I confessed, they laughed and I locked myself in a made up room, one without Lucas and Kun. And when I opened the door, they were there with their smiles. They were there to hold me but the damage I took during the time I kept it in was more painful than the loneliness, because I always feared us breaking apart because of me not realising that friendship is beyond love and intimacy, it’s something so many people don’t have, it’s paradise in a post apocalyptic world with zombies. So even if Renjun and Mark date, they would unconsciously put your friendship first. They would always hold your hand. Just give them a chance, don’t let them be eaten alive by a guilt which is as unwanted and unnecessary as a week of extra school during the summer.”

Jeno just walked on with an itchy feeling. He threw himself on his bed and closed his eyes.

“Jeno we’ll be there, we’ll always, always put you first. Before family, before love, before anything, we’ll put you first. We’ll never let you feel alone again.”

Renjun had said that. He had said that when Jeno had been Jeno, selfish. His parents had abandoned the brothers on Thanksgiving dinner. The turkey was looking more and more gruesome and disgusting as the clock ticked its way past the number eleven. Doyoung had drowned five beer cans and Jeno had drunk the last drop of cranberry juice from the juice carton. It was so quiet that you could hear their stomachs grumble and their hearts race so fast that they could pop out of their chest. Jeno was the first to get up and resign to his room. The next day he had gagged his feeling of vomiting for about three hours in the washroom. Sprawled next to the toilet, he began crying like a maniac, like a stupid girl who was left at the altar, like a little kid who was lost and alone in a fair. His tears were so thick that at some point he believed that it wasn’t transparent salty water but a thick red fluid rolling down his cheeks. His eyes were bloodshot and it hurt and stung but the pain and the tears felt equivalent to vomiting. He forced tears out, he forced the pain out.

At some point, where his eyes still hurt but his lids were closed, his body was wrapped with warm limbs and blankets.

“Hey there Snow White.” The warm limbs shifted and Jeno winced at their absence. He wanted to be warm and touched and loved.

“Mmm...Jun...” Jeno knew the voice but right now he wasn’t ready to speak, move or even breathe.

“Your parents...” Mark had Jeno humming peacefully as he threw his leg around his waist.

Just as Jeno began drifting off to sleep again, Renjun kissed his forehead and said those words which soon became Jeno’s lullaby.

The tone of loyalty made him calm.

The tone of a promise made him calm.

The tone of Renjun made him calm.

That evening, the doorbell did not ring before Jeno found Renjun casually strolling into his room and falling onto the bed. Jeno was at his study table, scribbling and doodling rather than doing the chemistry homework. He was so used to this that he didn’t even mind leaving the main door unlocked. The neighbourhood was secure and there wasn’t much to steal from their house.

But after the babbling with Jaemin that afternoon, he felt Renjun’s presence. He felt his presence like he wasn’t a part of the room, like usual, but an outsider. Renjun felt like an outsider in his room.

“So, want to tell me why you’re staring at me, weirdo?” Renjun breaks the silence.

Better to confront. Always better to be straightforward. Better to be−

“Got any problems?”

“You do know we heard Jaemin’s shout, we were still walking.”

“Yeah, I am not sure about him...”

“He seemed cool, did he say something?”

“I don’t know man. I mean he said weird stuff.”

“Like what?”

“It was quite funny... He said that you had crush on Mark?”

Quite surprisingly, Renjun laughed and shook his head. His laugh was so dry yet complimenting like he was trying to compliment Jaemin. “He’s smart.”

Jeno was an easy going guy who handled stress well (until of course Na Jaemin). So his response to Renjun's confession was a soft chuckle. He walked out of the bedroom and went upstairs, knowing that Renjun would follow pursuit. Sitting on the sofa in the den, he propped his elbows on his knees and waited for Renjun to settle down.

“Since when?”

“Well, after the Justin thing, we started hanging out more often and then he opened up and I guess, that’s when it began. But, the sure feeling came when we had Taeyong’s birthday party.”

“So it’s been a while.”

“You know why I didn’t tell you.”

“I would’ve figured it out if we had this talk without Jaemin being involved. I would have figured it out with him too but he just, agh! He makes me so fucking mad! And believe it or not, I felt jealous of him!” Jeno ran his thin fingers through his hair and let out soft laugh, genuine enough for Renjun to join him. These were the moments in which Jeno would find a melody. He would find a beat for his feelings. He would be able to play it out, for the world to hear but not quite understand the feeling completely. He never found someone who truly felt the notes.

And that’s what he did− with his fingers on the keys he found a perfect note for this evening. It felt like summer. Complete quiet and Renjun’s presence one with the room, one with Jeno’s life. Summer had come and Jeno truly felt like it was.  
  
Mark came over with Taeyong and Jaehyun around seven. All their parents were corporate workers and late nights were their priority, but they were also cautious enough to make the kids value money, knowing too well that they didn’t want their kids to be good-for-nothing brats. So, they were more than fine with Gatorade rather than Starbucks Americano, for energy regeneration.

Between Jeno and Renjun there had been a non discussed agreement about the fact that nothing was to be disclosed to anyone except Jaemin to which Jeno responded with a disgusted grunt.

“So why wasn’t I invited over?” Mark found his place on the couch next to Renjun and now, Jeno noticed the slight pink tips of his ears. It was cute, in a way.

“Renjun had a feeling you’d come over later.” Jeno wasn’t one to speak much when it was the three of them.

“Did you?” Mark stared at Renjun in a teasingly intense way and a smirk which trembled a bit. How Jeno wished he could stop seeing the little things in his friends’ movements. But they were cute, in a way.

Jeno remembered the summer when Ten came out to them as the first gay guy in the group. He had taken everyone out for ice cream and later, gathered them in his backyard and shouted out “I’M GAY”. The kids were oblivious to the word and the ones towards the end of freshmen year were not the least shook at the news and kept sipping their peach iced teas. Ten was so shocked that he slapped Taeyong across the face to grab his attention and told him that he was gay. That was also the moment the whole group realised the person he had a crush on. Taeyong simply smiled and nodded. Ten stomped his feet and threw a tantrum. When the freshmen finally asked him what his problem was then he answered that he wanted them to react to his news. The boys laughed and asked him another question.

“Do you want us to be shocked and tell you you’re ‘disgusting’ or some shit?” Jaehyun had asked.

“No.” Ten had said with a deep breath.

“Then this all you get, our love and complete support.” Doyoung had slurped his tea and sighed in pleasure.

The elder boys had always been together, if not since birth and not in person too. They weren’t in the same clique and class in school and they weren’t always waving ‘hi’s’ and ‘byes’ as they passed each other in hallways. But when they needed a bed for lonely nights, a beer after break ups, a friend after fucking up something up or a punching bag for taking out their anger they had always been there for each other. This had been their relation and it was something Jeno always wished to have with Mark and Renjun. He wanted to be there for the things that mattered and things that didn’t, no matter what. He wanted to be the friend who could see past things without there being a need to communicate them, like Jaemin had seen past Renjun and Mark. Jaemin...

“I need to apologise to him, don’t I?”

“I don’t think you should even question this.”

Mark looks at them with the most suspicious pair of eyes but curves his lips up without hesitation. Jeno ignores them and subtly, very subtly winking at Renjun, leaves the room and then the house. Walking about thirty big steps, he stands in front of Mrs. Hee’s door and presses his index finger onto the doorbell and after hearing the faint ring, he places his hand over his chest, consoling his anxious heart to calm down. Na Jaemin had this weird aura that made Jeno’s skin itch and it made him so irritated. The door opened with a tall guy with big eyes and brown hair peeking out a bit, confused.

“How may I help you?” Big-eyed-guy asked with such a bright smile that Jeno needed those goddamned shades his brother got him for this summer.

“Who are you?” Jeno knew Jaemin was around, his skin was itching.

“I am none of your business, kid.” ‘Kid’, seriously. Jeno thought and realised that he had fucking stepped onto the thorn park. The Mrs. Hee house residents were dangerous for Jeno.

“I want to talk to Na Jaemin. It’s really important.” Jeno wanted this to be over soon.

“Sure. Do you want to meet him inside or should I call him out?” Brown-hair-guy smirked at him.

“Please call him out. Thank you.”

“Sure. Wait a second.”

After three minutes of getting the door closed at his face, it opens again, this time with Jaemin running his hand past his hair.

“’Sup Lee?”

“Uh... I apologise for being an ass earlier today.”

“Can you please be specific?” Jaemin was smiling like a Disney villain but the way the yellow porch light fell on his face, it gave it such a shadow that he looked anything but evil. He looked like a cute guy who just woke up, with perfectly set bed hair and hooded eyes with a lopsided smile. Jeno’s skin itched now. Damn you. Jeno had simply given up on any further development so he turned around on his heels and began walking back.

“Come on Jeno! You’re seriously acting like a kid!”

Jeno stopped. He turned. He inhaled.

“I can’t do this. Jaemin you’re presence makes my skin itch but you were right about Renjun and I got to talk to him about it because of you, and me shouting at you was wrong. So, I am sorry. I am sorry for my stupid behaviour.” Someone’s ears were getting redder by the second. His skin didn’t itch but now it felt warm.

“It’s okay. I am sorry too. Also, sorry for Lucas. He’s an ass but a funny one.” With swinging sleepy steps, Jaemin walked up to Jeno and opening his arms, he let himself fall into the surprised boy. Like a Japanese high school anime girl, Jeno’s eyes opened wide and a gasp broke through the silence. Jaemin’s arms snaked under Jeno’s arms and around his back. Resting his head on his shoulder, Jaemin smiled. Jeno could feel it.

“Thank you so much, Jeno. Thank you for apologising and saving me that day. Thank you, Jeno Lee.”

With that Jeno’s heart skipped a be−

“Ha! Jaemin, did that big eyed dude give you drugs?” Jeno laughed. His hand had went up long ago, stroking Jaemin’s chestnut hair and enjoying the softness it had to offer.

Pulling apart from Jeno’s almost hug, Jaemin laughed. “That’s Lucas and I guess you don’t like him too.”

“Yes.”

“He’s the first guy I confessed to.”

“Unnecessary information.”

“I thought you’d be jealous.”

“You’re thinking way ahead into this.”

“But there’s a hope?”

“Do you have a crush on me, Jaemin?”

“I’ll make sure you’re the first one to know.” Big-eyed Lucas interrupts the two boys’ intense moment and Jeno is partly glad because he was sweating like a mid-monsoon rain.

After talking with Lucas and Jaemin a bit, Jeno realised that maybe, just maybe a few more friends won’t hurt his egotistical ass.

“So you guys make me go to sleep to talk to him? Ouch, guys, ouch.” A voice comes from behind big-eyed-Lucas.

And at that very moment, Jeno’s heart skipped a beat as he realised that he was as straight as a donut.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS for reading!!
> 
> XO.


	3. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The summer finally begins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My spectrum, you're smile alone would be the death of me. (This one's for you)
> 
> ALSO THANKS GUYS FOR 390 HITS and 24 KUDOS!!!!!!!! I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER TOO!! THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT Y'ALL!!
> 
>  
> 
> XO

As Jeno walked alongside Jaemin, Mark and Renjun, he inhaled the summer air and exhaled, letting out all academic worries. This was the summer where he would make memories, memories that’ll be engraved in his skin and soul.

 

“It’s here, Jeno. The summer we thought so much about! You, me, Mark, Jaemin, Doyoung, Taeyong, Ten and Jaehyun.” Renjun said hooking his arm around Jeno’s shoulder and tugging him along. As they smiled and walked in the middle of the road, a faint voice said, “I know it’ll be weird but can you guys include Kun and Lucas too. They’re here for the summer only.”

 

Jeno unhooked himself from the arm lock and turned back to face Jaemin. “Kun, sure he can come. He should come. But Lucas...”

 

“You know what Jaemin? I take back my remarks... He is jealous.” Renjun half smirked, half grinned teasingly. “He’s lame. It’s like whenever I go to Jaemin's to see Ku- to hang out, he just winks at me or roasts me.” Jeno kicked a stone and pouted like a five year old. “Aw... look at this man baby... Screw you, I like Lucas. He has really big and nice and pretty eyes. And amazing humour.” Mark patted Jeno’s back in a rather harsh way than a consoling one. For a second Jeno forgot about everything happening and replayed Mark's words and shot a concerned look at Renjun at his left. Renjun smiled and shrugged. Jeno realised then that how much it would’ve hurt Renjun when Mark and Jeno commented about people and their looks, especially when Mark’s comments were about finding that person really attractive.

 

They reached the crossroad and Mark and Renjun waved the other two goodbye. “So will you come over today too?”

 

Jeno had been visiting Jaemin almost every day. Mark and Renjun thought that it was him trying to mend his friendship with Jaemin but Jeno had an ulterior motive. That being talking and staring and drooling over Qian Kun.

 

He was Jaemin’s best friend who had come over for the summer from the other end of the city, like Lucas. He was so hot that Jeno always felt like it was two degrees hotter whenever he was around. He had a smooth voice and when his mouth opened to speak it felt like butterflies were flying out of his mouth. His eyes, whenever they met Jeno's, were confident yet soft. His orbs looking at Jeno like he was more precious than he thought he was. Kun had amole, a beauty spot under his right eye which Jeno would stare at when he thought no one was looking. He had a very hard time resisting his fingers from grazing past his jaw line. It was his beautiful pink lips that prompted Jeno to apply some chap stick before meeting him. He had stolen one from Doyoung's dresser. It was the neutral one he found amongst the various flavoured ones. The way Kun's eyes wrinkled at the corners a bit when he smiled made his heart flutter. The very presence of Kun threatened his heart popping out of his chest. Apart from being beautiful, Kun was thoughtful and quiet and kept to himself. You couldn’t, wouldn’t know what he thought about. He reminded Jeno of himself sometimes.

 

The way no one understood Jeno's mind. They could read his clumsy thoughts but the dangerous ones were quite confidential. The day when his knuckles met with Justin’s jaw, no one knew that Jeno had thought so far. No one had known. Sometimes others didn’t let him know things about themselves and he felt that this way, he was letting them know how it felt to not know. Another thought no one figured. Renjun told him about everything in the end. Everyone knew. Everyone knew about his best friend except Jeno.

 

Jeno wasn’t forgiving but he knew that Renjun had a reason for his actions. He must’ve known that Jeno would straight up screw Justin and he must’ve still got lingering feelings for that shithole. Renjun was a good friend. A closer one than Mark, if Jeno were to be honest. They had gone through everything with each other. When Renjun had told him the story, it was just the two boys sitting on the wet stairs of Renjun’s house’s porch. They were themselves wet from the heavy downpour and water ran down their necks as Renjun gulped. Jeno didn’t have a major reaction. He had put his head in his hands. Sighing loudly he had said that’ll he’ll take care of it. He had ignored the soft “no, don’t do it” as Renjun rested his head on his shoulder and wrapped his cold hands around Jeno.

 

Then things happened and Jeno was glad they did. He was glad he did them.

 

“-Ello? Jeno, are you fine?” Jaemin's concern spread like a body mist. Jeno shook his head and with a subtle curve on his lips he told him he was fine. “You’re coming over?” Jaemin asked once he stopped in front of his house. Before Jeno could let his mouth open, Lucas called out from inside.

 

“We messed up Minnie!”

 

And the two boys almost ran into the house, horror seen in the eyes of Jaemin.

 

Now, the scene in front of them could be read two ways. One, the way Jaemin chose to read it was a disturbed kitchen– flour everywhere, smoke from the microwave, juice and ice cubes spilt all over the kitchen island and Kun in a corner with an innocent smile. The other way that Jeno chose to look at it with was, looking at Kun in a tank top with a low cut, flour over his face and half of his torso. Jeno followed his eyes up his body and rested on his eyes. Kun's eyes were dark, darker than usual. There was a slip of tongue and it almost seemed too intentional to open his mouth a bit and lick his lips in the most sexual way. Jeno shook his head and followed his dark orbs towards Lucas. Lucas was staring at him too, his mouth hung open slightly and it could be that it would drool uncontrollably if Kun kept doing whatever he was doing. Jeno was too shocked to process stuff so he joined Jaemin in cleaning the mess quietly.

 

So the summer was off to a great start– his crush had another crush (not like he had made any such commendable progress, but he let his heart hurt a bit dramatically) and his frenemy was his crush’s crush (a bit more after witnessing the eye fucking).

 

“Yeah, they’re eye fucking each other.” Jaemin almost whispered as he collected the juice with a cloth into the sink.

 

“So doesn’t it hurt?” Jeno was hurting too so it didn’t seem that forward and awkward of a question.

 

“It _used_ to. That’s why I shut them out. They thought I knew about them and only confessed to Kun because I wanted them to be together. Later, they found out I hadn’t a clue about this but it was late and I had closed the door.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“But they helped me get over shit. It wasn’t just because of Kun you know? I realised later that Kun's personality is like that, the kind which draws you in like a bee towards a sweet flower. It wasn’t that hard to see that you had too-”

 

“Was it really not hard?”

 

“Bro, you came over to my house almost every day of the week and didn’t even hang out with me... Plus, you drool when you look at him... I did too.”

 

“What else were you going through?” Kun and Lucas had disappeared but Jeno didn’t mind sweeping the flour into the dustpan held by Jaemin.

 

He was on one of his knees, the dust pan held in place by one hand and the other rested on the free knee. He looked up slowly, a smile so painful. So painful, you could feel the hurt. You could feel the tears running down his cheek even if they weren’t. You could see the force put on his lips alone to curve up. You could see his light freckles, the ones visible only to Jeno, hiding behind the wrinkles of his eyes. He had shut them, almost as if had taken himself back to that time. Let himself remember whatever he would tell Jeno...or not. But Jeno’s heart clenched, his breathing became difficult. He could see it, he could see it as clearly as the freckles. He wanted to reach out and hug him, give him the warmth he wanted so badly.

 

So he did. He let the broom drop and rested on his knees on the floor, still covered a bit in the flour. He reached out his hand and holding firmly onto Jaemin’s shoulders, he pulled him into his chest. Jaemin broke as soon as his head rested on Jeno’s shoulders. His sobs making Jeno’s heart tighten. Even as Jeno had pulled him, Jaemin’s lips were still smiling. Still curved up as if he didn’t want Jeno to see him break. As if he wished Jeno to not know about his hurt or his pain. And as much as Jaemin wanted all those things, Jeno knew he needed this – this warmth – more than anything else right now.

 

Jaemin’s hands had gripped Jeno’s arms and when his cold fingers made contact, Jeno knew he did the right thing.

 

He didn’t want to make the mistake of 'letting it go' again.

 

“Whatever it was Jaemin, it wasn’t your fault. It’s over, that time is over. Its gone, along with its darkness. Don’t remember it... please.” Jaemin just cried more, letting absurd gasps and hiccups slip out his mouth, his tears wetting Jeno’s t-shirt. Jeno ran his hand up and down Jaemin’s back, pressing a bit as he ran it past his spine. Warming him up. He felt so cold under his arms earlier. Now, he was okay. But he wasn’t. It was amazing how people could be okay and not okay at the same time. Just like how a boy who could make your skin itch make your heart ache.

 

They were there for a long time. Long enough for Lucas and Kun to be back again. Fortunately, they had got back to cleaning in silence just a minute before they came back. The silence that followed, Jeno realised why Jaemin let them back again. Just like how Renjun had let him in. They both needed time to figure out if they could sort things own. When they peeled out of their doors, they saw them still standing with goofy grins and an inviting embrace.

 

Kun and Lucas had known what had happened without even knowing. They both pressed, rather crushed Jaemin between their arms. Whispering sorry's and its okay's into his ears until all four of them were laughing at the recital of the events that led to the kitchen being a mindlessly painted abstract canvas.

 

That evening Jeno let himself die thrice in Call of Duty. He was too busy thinking. At around one he had gotten up from his bed, walked to the den. He saw Doyoung drinking beer, lying carelessly on the couch. He didn’t pay him heed and went to his keyboard. As the curtains fluttered with the wind and Jeno’s fingers played a melancholic tune, Jeno thought of himself. In the most selfish way possible. He thought of his worries, his life, his friends, his parents, his brother. And the tune changed to a more soothing one. A little quick between transitions but soft enough for someone to sleep to it. Just like his life. Just like Jeno. He wanted to change his tune this summer. He wanted his fingers move rapidly over the keyboard with enthusiasm. After this summer, he hoped in silence that he’ll find his melody. He’ll find Jeno.

 

“It’s you; the tune is you... Keep playing it.”

 

Jeno played it all night. For hours, till his hands cramped up, he played his tune. The brothers listening to a tune that must’ve been both of theirs that night. Only for them to really understand.

 

~*~*

Bright mornings were the ones where Jeno and Doyoung grunted in disgust at the erratic ringing of the doorbell.

 

They had both slept at around six in the morning, laying awake in the silence. Jeno had cramped his left hand after playing the keyboard for hours. Sometime after four am, they had resorted to lip-syncing the movie 'Titanic'. After an hour of that, they fell silent again. They both fell asleep after that.

 

“Fucking Taeyong and Mark.” Doyoung ran his hand through his hair. Jeno was a few steps behind on the stairs, stumbling like a drunken old man.

 

“I don’t think that’d be fun.” Jeno didn’t even feel like laughing at his own joke, which was pretty funny. “No Jeno, not now.” But even after those words, Doyoung let out a huff through a faint smile. They both opened the door, hissing like vampires at the bright light. Mark and Taeyong were standing on the doorstep with three big bags and two sleeping bag rolls.

 

“COMMENCING THE GREATEST SUMMER EVER! TO ALL THE HYUNGS WHOM I’LL MISS DEARLY NEXT YEAR! If you get into a college.” Mark announced at a crowd who just sighed in disregard. He smiled still and hooked his arm around Jeno and pulled him to his room. Jeno went into the washroom to freshen up. Washing his face, brushing and excreting shit, he felt nice. He remained in his shorts and his dad’s college t-shirt. He didn’t mind even brushing his hair.

 

“So bro, what’s sizzlin’?” Mark asks as he slides into one of the high rise chairs next to the kitchen island. Taeyong was pouring juice into four glasses with a smile, subtle but enough for one to know he was happy. Doyoung had disappeared, most probably to clean up too. “Who got drunk?” Taeyong asked Jeno as he set his glass of juice in front of him.

 

“Dodo. I cramped up my left arm after playing the keyboard for hours.” He twisted his wrist a bit to check, hissing quietly when he it twisted at a certain angle.

 

Mark chuckled and clinking his glass together with Taeyong and Jeno's glass. He smiled brightly. Jeno had to squint his eyes as he looked at him to return a faint smile.

 

“So, I heard we have extras this time.” Taeyong propped his elbows on the counter. Before Mark coul speak Jeno quickly passed him the _required_ information.

 

“Our new neighbour and his friends. Namely– Jaemin, Kun and Lucas.”

 

“Your age?”

 

“Jaemin is. Lucas and Kun are your age. Lucas is quite hyper and flirty, in the weirdest way and Kun is just beautiful and angelic.”

 

“Crush?”

 

“Yeah, but only that much 'cause yesterday I saw Lucas and Kun eye fuck.”

 

“Aw, too bad. I thought I could set you up with Kun over the summer..” Taeyong pouted as he ruffled Jeno’s already messy hair.

 

By ten o'clock, everyone had gathered. Jaemin and his friends were not informed about this because Jeno didn’t want them to be informed. But, Mark and Renjun _loved_ Jaemin, Lucas and Kun so they called them last night and told them all about the two-day stay over.

 

All summer breaks since Jeno could walk started with this. They discussed plans and the elder brothers got drunk as hell. This year Doyoung may have planned to buy a couple extra 6-can packs of beer, though. They did not leave the house so most of them slept through the first day. Last year it happened at Mark and Taeyong's  place. This year was Jeno and Doyoung's. Everyone was more than happy to comply because their house was the most spacious. They lacked decoration in their house so apart from some essential accessories in house, it was empty.

 

Till lunch everyone got acquainted to Jaemin and his friends. 'Jaemin and his friends' now became 'oh Jeno why did you keep them to yourself? They’re so cool'. So Jeno was the only one in shorts, an old t-shirt and unkempt hair. Everyone was gathered in the living room– on the couch, floor and Mark was perched on a side table laughing like a crow. Jeno watched Jaemin shuffle out of the crowd and sit next to Jeno, who was still seated at the high rise chair with his now empty glass of juice.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hi.”

 

“Your timing is impeccable.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Thanks for yesterday. I really needed that hug.”

 

“Kun and Lucas did it too.”

 

“Yeah, but yours was different.”

 

“How?”

 

“I’ll tell you one day.” Jaemin smiled. This one was shining just like the way they did in the bus one morning. Though, this time the smile felt so genuine, so personal. It seemed like only Jeno had seen him smile like that– his eyes squinted, almost closed into crescents and his lips stretched in the most perfect way across his face. Jeno resisted his urge to graze his cheek with his fingers. He looked so strong. Even if he was hurt, even if he cried while smiling almost like that, Jaemin was stronger than anyone he knew. Whatever had happened, it must’ve stabbed him bad. He was limping with his smiles; Jeno could see them falter every time- except today.

 

“It’s real.” Jeno mumbled to himself.

 

“Very.” Jaemin mumbled back.

 

The day went on and everyone got acquainted with everyone. As the sun set, Renjun started giving a speech.

 

“So as of this year, the last year with the grandfathers, I want to enroll three new young men. Two of them already with the grandfathers and one, sizzling hot bacon of sunshine. You’ve already met them. Now it’s time to decide the itinerary for the summer. Jaehyun, as the unofficial founder, will discuss further.”

 

Jaehyun dusted off his pants and cleared his throat, giving off some classy spokesperson vibes. “So, children and bros, this year we’re venturing. Not venturing like camping. An example would be Mark waking up one morning and feeling like he wanted to go on a hike with everyone, so he texts and informs everyone and those interested will join him. But, apart from this, we’re going to my family’s beach house after three weeks and two days. Floor is now open to questions.”

 

Lucas had his hand raised along with Mark. “Lucas followed by Mark.” Jaehyun had been watching too many UN summit videos. Lucas tried to act classy too, “how long are we going to be at the beach house? I may have to go back to my place to get stuff. Also, if you want I’ll come back with my car.” Jaehyun nodded, humming slowly as if he was processing Lucas’ question. “We’ll be there for four days and three nights. As for the car, more never hurt.” Jaehyun smiled as Lucas sat down. Mark rose to his feet and asked his question. “Are we allowed to drink this year?” _Yes, good Mark._ Jeno thought. Mark had asked the _most_ important question. Jaehyun looked at Taeyong and you could see a hint of a smirk on both their lips. “Tentative.” Jeno and Renjun booed Jaehyun and Jaemin laughed. “Any more?” Jaehyun asked.

 

Everyone shook their head and Jaehyun thanked his audience and sat back down between Doyoung and Ten. Doyoung’s ears were tinted pink. Jeno averted his eyes. Every one of his friends had a thing for his other friend– Renjun and Mark, Doyoung and Jaehyun, Taeyong and Ten, Lucas and Kun. Great life, Jeno had a great life. Jeno tried to make up his mind about him being asexual from now because no one has shown him an intimate kind of love gesture, not even from a girl. Jeno sank deeper into the ground as he pitied his love life by himself. Jeno thought he must have been a killer or a terrorist to deserve this kind of treatment. Jeno didn’t like thinking about himself as a loser or even pity himself. It was the god forsaken atmosphere– the ‘summer love’ atmosphere. And as much as he wanted the OTPs to get a grip and confess and date already, he also wanted them to take it slow, confess after a month more. Jeno shook his head. _No, this summer is about the elder brothers. I can’t cry about my shitty life and help them enjoy their senior summer. I should plan set ups and get them alone for seven minutes in a closet or something. Jeno Lee, this is not about you._

Jeno had never realised this that he had been selfless his whole life. He thought that keeping Mark’s notebook with him for over a day with him was selfish. He had walked to his house with a 102° fever to return it. He had always thought about others, so much so that he thought that talking to Renjun and Mark about his problems was selfish. Though, recently had been too selfish about them that he thought a nice person like Jaemin would steal his friends apart from him. Jaemin had done the opposite, brought Renjun to open up to Jeno and made Mark even bubblier at the bus stop each morning. Jaemin had been such been a much needed light in their dull school week. Although Jeno didn’t like the way Jaemin had so easily snaked his way into his life, he was kind of glad he had. _Kind of._

~*~*

“Hey guys! Seven thirty we’re playing a little game!” Mark called out from the ground floor.

 

Renjun and Jaemin were eating chips with Jeno in the den.

 

“So, this is where the really soothing sound was coming from last night...” Jaemin hummed as he crunched his chip. Jeno’s mouth hung open and his ears’ temperature shot up in a second. Renjun laughed contently once his gaze fell on Jeno. Jeno coughed to clear his throat.

 

“How the fuck did you know?!” Jeno tried to sound subtle and confident but lacked both of them and much more.

 

“Through that window, is my room.” Jaemin pointed to the big window which Jeno had never dared to look through. Renjun laughed even more, Jeno didn’t regret hoping for him to choke on his spit because he did. Jeno hid his face in his hands for a second. He looked up to see Jaemin looking at him partly with concern and partly with curiosity of his next move. They locked eyes and suddenly burst into laughter. All three of them laughed and as it began to hush down, Jeno turned in his seat to face the keyboard. “Oh Jaemin, watch this.” Jeno heard rustling on the couch. His fingers slid over the keys and with the lightest of weight over them he played a soulful melody. This one was not an original; his mother had taught him this a few years ago. It was after they had had dinner that Jeno wanted to hear his mother play something before he went to sleep. In the beginning he did not know the exact keys and when he asked his mother over a phone call she’d either hang up because she was too busy or hand the phone to his father. Almost two years ago he figured it out on his own, remembering it from note to note. A few hundred tries and he finally got it.

 

The tune was one you could hum along to, sway your hips a bit or even uplift the mood with. It was chirpy and exciting. Doyoung loved this one (probably because it was their mother’s). Jeno looked over at the couch to see both Jaemin and Renjun swinging their bodies left and right, matching the tempo of the song. They were grinning at each other, giggling like little girls sometimes too. They both were similar to some extent. He wouldn’t be surprised if they got closer over time. Both of them hid the simplest of their worries and had this beautiful power to smile through most of them. Jeno smiled to himself in his seat and continued playing.

 

Renjun and Jaemin felt one with the room; they felt one with his life.

 

The lazy three remained in the den playing games till they were called downstairs. With a few grunts and curses they trudged their feet downstairs.

 

Mark and Lucas were missing and the rest were placing snack bowls on the carpeted floor of the living room. The couches and side table were shifted to a corner, creating a lot of free space for everyone to sit down.

 

Ten hooked an arm around Jeno and Renjun and grinned wickedly at them. “So boys, ready to finally participate in the games you watched us play, hmm?” Renjun and Jeno laughed and their arms around Ten’s waist, walked towards rest of the gang. They stood like that, arms around Ten, laughing as they made jokes about the others. They even scared Doyoung as he came out of the bathroom. They only let go when the front door busted open and Mark and Lucas came in shouting and howling. They were carrying a cardboard box in between their arms and waist on either side. “Is Taeyong here?” Mark asked, his suddenly cautious eyes scanning the house. “Nope,” Doyoung said as he took one of the boxes from him. “Okay so,” Lucas somehow got everyone to huddle together, heads touching heads, “the soda bottles don’t have soda, they have beer. Mark and I exchanged the liquid with extreme carefulness. Taeyong was the only one against you guys having ‘alcohol’ so we don’t want him to know we went and bought it anyway.”

 

“Alright guys, ‘booze’ one three. One, two, three!”

 

“Booze!” Instead of breaking like football teams, most of them fell on the floor laughing after the cheer. Even Kun found himself on his knees laughing as he threw his head back. “Booze!” Ten cheered as he wiped away his tears of joy. And as retarded as they were, they laughed again. And again. And again. And again.

 

Oh how Jeno missed this! When he got up, he saw Jaemin leaning against the wall smiling at the disturbed monkey antics in front of him. Jeno walked up to him. Jaemin seemed to be lost somewhere so Jeno nudged him with his elbow. “Hello Jaemin.”

 

“Hello Jeno.”

 

“You’re having fun?”

 

“Yep, you’ll miss them a lot won’t you?”

 

“Yeah, a lot. But, I have Mark and Renjun... and you.”

 

“Then we’re friends?”

 

“That’s a lame question.”

 

“That’s a lame answer.”

 

“Yes, Nana, we are.”

 

“Nana?”

 

“Nana.”

 

“You’re the weirdest amongst them.”

 

“Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.”

 

“Then ugliness does too.”

 

“But no one’s is ugly except Mark and you.” Jaemin pinched Jeno’s arm and Jeno winced followed by a chuckle.

 

“What did you say?” Jaemin asked with a low and serious voice.

 

“I said you’re damn hot, Nana.” Jaemin nodded his head in response. Jeno turned his head just in time to see Mark and Renjun trip and fall over each other. Mark was under Renjun and both of them were redder than fresh hot lava. Jeno and Jaemin laughed softly at the view. Then Jeno had a smirk across his face.

 

“Get a room guys!” Jaemin laughed the moment Jeno finished his comment. Both of them laughed whole heartedly as they saw Mark and Renjun scrambling away from each other.

 

“You’re evil, Jeno. You’re wicked.”

 

“You might be very correct there my friend.”

 

“Thank you... my friend.” Jaemin smiled and Jeno returned not dwelling on whether it was real or not. He knew Jaemin was real and he was happy knowing just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why the end notes of my first chapter is shown after each new chapter too. Please ignore it!! I'll try to fix this situation.
> 
> P.S. How did you feel about New Era by Got7? I died when Mark's "oh, I need a gasoline" came up. XD


	4. Understandings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SO SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE!! WE GO UP IS SUCH A BOP SJJDJDKSKSKSJSJS I LOVE IT!!!!!!! ALSO THANKS FOR 600+ KUDOS!!!! I LOVE Y'ALL!!!

The game was quite simple, spin the bottle and give a dare. With the whole Brady bunch sitting in a circle, Jaehyun spun the bottle. Anxious hearts were beating and as the bottle started to slow down, a few names were shouted too. Jeno wasn't afraid of a simple game of dare, what he was afraid of was that who was giving him the dare.

"Taeyong!" Mark shouted with his hands up in excitement. Taeyong smiled a little and looked at Jaehyun, ready to be hit by whatever obnoxious task he would give him.

"Okay, Yongie! I dare you to eat a lemon!" Just as Jaehyun finished, there were three types of reactions— hyena laughs from the younger bunch, subtle chuckles from the elders and a loud grunt from Ten. Jeno laughed even more after Ten's reaction. Soon, Taeyong's face squirmed and squinched and they were back for the second spin.

After about seven spins, the dares seemed to have upped their game. Till now it was physical torture and looking at Lucas's smile before spinning the bottle, one could tell that the roof was about to fall. After a good spin, the bottle began slowing down, passing Jeno in its last round, the bottle stopped at Doyoung. Silence dawned upon the whole group, eyes intently looking at Lucas as he opens his thick lips to form the words of the game changing dare. He begins.

"I dare you to... Give a lap dance to Jaehyun!"

And as if it was the New year's celebration, everyone jumped up in joy, already pulling out a chair for Jaehyun to sit on and getting Doyoung to stand up. Lucas got a few 'i am proud of you' pats and mark lost it and his hyena laugh echoed through the commotion. Jaemin looked at Jeno. "Why is everyone so excited for a normal dare?" 

Jeno pat Jaemin's head and shook his head with a small smile. "You see, Doyoung is crazy about Jaehyun." Jaemin eyes widened. "You guys are wicked." 

"Need I remind you that Lucas gave the dare? Now, let's go and enjoy the show." 

They both found a good view to Doyoung cherry red face. Fixing his feet on either sides of Jaehyun's, Doyoung gulped and the song began. The whole group started cheering Doyoung. Jaehyun just sat still and gazed at Doyoung, somehow trying to calculate his next move (if he would make any). 

Soon enough, the whole room had almost hushed down. 

Then there was a sound of a zipper being undone. Then there was Doyoung's jacket falling off his shoulder in the most seductive way. Then there was a swirl of his hips, followed by some explicit grinding and lingering touches and a panicked gay, Jaehyun. Everyone was too shocked to say anything and Doyoung continued till the last beat of the song. Though, when the song ended, Doyoung leaned closer to Jaehyun's ear and whispered something. Just as words left Doyoung mouth, Jaehyun's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. 

Doyoung grew a smirk and got off Jaehyun's lap. Just as he turned to walk away, Jaehyun held his wrist. "We'll be back soon." Jaehyun said in a deep, low growl and pulled Doyoung out the house, not forgetting to slam the door so hard that everyone jumped at its sound.

"Way to go Doyoung!" Jaemin said softly next week to Jeno. "Way to go indeed." The whole group fell into fits of laughter.

Mark held the bottle in his hand. Mark held the future. Lucas provided a dramatic drum roll as the bottle spun. Jeno's eyes widened and the bottle stopped at Lucas. That brought them back to silly practical dares and jokes. 

Around midnight, the game had been updated into watching Mark and Lucas crack sexual jokes and Ten laughing like a madman at them. In the background, Taeyong's gaze never left Ten. Jaemin smiled radiantly at the scene and Renjun mirrored his actions. Too similar. Too different.

Jeno got up from the couch to get himself a refill of 'soda'. 

"Oi! Where you heading?" Jaemin quirked his eyebrows up at Jeno. "Gettin' some refill.." Jeno shook his empty cup, raising his elbow up a bit. "Oh okay! I'll join you too.." Jaemin got up and before leaving with Jeno he turned around and nodded slightly at Renjun. Renjun smiled at him.

"I guess you guys hit it off..." Jeno said in a hushed tone. He felt selfish again.

"He's a very loyal friend, you know.."

"I know." Cold fingers grabbed Jeno's wrist and pulled him upstairs to the den. Jaemin set his cup down on the floor and held his other wrist and mouthed the word 'stay'. He sat at the stool in front of the keyboard. Dusting his hands on his pants, Jaemin placed his fingers over the keys.

His fingers glided across the keys as he played the tune from a few hours ago. He played it to the exact same rhythm and beat. It almost felt like he felt the notes. Finishing it he looked up and even with the white curtains blocking the moonlight, his eyes shined. 

"There was a break in tune you played. A small one that not many would be able to notice except the person it was directed at. You felt as if you were beginning to accept my presence but along with that you felt the disappearance of Renjun's. You felt as if he was one but not with you—"

"See Na, I get it. I get what I play. You don't need to explain them." 

"No, what you don't know is the tunes others play. Renjun's tune is loyal to you... You just choose not to hear it."

There it was, the spear just jabbed through Jeno's heart. It was quite funny that a guy like Jaemin could break Jeno so easily.

Jeno sank to the ground, curling his fingers into tight fists and setting his head between his knees. "I hate it, you know. I hate my selfishness. I hate it so much that I end up hating myself. I think that I am 'selfish', I am a walking 'selfish' being. What I hate more is that I know them... I know their tunes, especially Renjun's. People think that I am a softie, I am emotional but that's exactly what I am not and that's what hurts. The expectations they have from me, emotional support and whatnot, I can't give it to them. I am like dead skin. Something that makes people itch. It's been years of me watching Doyoung cry every Christmas and New year's. It's been years since I've cried. I don't like it because I know someday it'll all burst out and everyone would leave me alone... Because I am a fucking selfish asshole!" 

Jaemin got up and walked up to Jeno. He kneeled in front of him and placed his hands on either sides of his face. Sighing loudly as he picked up Jeno's face and even though he was surprised at the still white eyes that were not even watery, he pressed their foreheads together. "Look at me Jeno." He said firmly and his eyes focused on the features of Jeno's face, ones that were so little to mention yet so beautiful and defining.

Jeno's eyes wandered up and Jaemin felt his eyebrows wiggle its way to form a furrow. "Listen to me Jeno." The two boys were now looking into each others eyes with curiosity and concern.

"You have flaws... You are scared... But what you don't know is that I am here. I am here with you. As long as you have one person, you have the world. 'You're my world', a lot of people say that, don't they?But Jeno, what I am saying is that I'll be your world when you've lost yours. I'll be the last man standing whether you like it or not. I'll be your disposable tissue. Just don't block me from understanding the Eden garden that your mind is. Let me be the one to understand your notes... Let me the one to begin." 

Jeno felt a sting in his eyes. But still there was no waterfall. So he wrapped his arms around Jaemin. Jaemin chuckled and gladly accepted the embrace and patted Jeno's back. Unfortunately, the hug didn't last long as Jeno sat back up and started throwing soft punches at Jaemin's chest. "You're an ass."

"I am."

"You're a stupid dumbfuck."

"Sure."

"You're too much like Renjun."

"Mhm."

"You are too good of a person."

"Haha- That, I am."

"Will you really understand my notes?"

"I do now too."

"Keep your window open at nights. Don't tell me you've heard them the next day but just listen. No, don't even listen... Just understand. Please understand my notes Na Jaemin."

"I promise you Lee Jeno, I will understand you someday and that day we'll make our own melody."

The two young teens exchanged smiles and even in the room lit up only by the lights of the hallway, Jeno saw the sun. He saw the sun which was so bright that it reached the dark corners of him in record time. But Jeno could say now that Jaemin didn't itch. He felt like the thickest blanket you could think of- warm. Warm like the sun. Bright like the sun. Beautiful like the s—

"Let's go now emo Lee."

"Shut the hell up Nana."

"Well I guess I'll just close my windows every night from now on..."

"I have cranberry juice!" 

"Jeno Lee, a fluff ball."

*~*  
There was this one day that Jeno could never forget. It just wouldn't leave his memories. 

Once he was out on the playground's swing set. Doyoung was pushing him and making him swing higher and higher. 

"Come on, boys! Be careful!" Their mother had called out. Ignorance was a childhood perk. So Jeno discarded the caution.

"Higher, Doyoung! To infinity-"

"And beyond!" The boys shouted and Jeno reached a height that felt like the top of the world for a six year old. As Jeno came back down, as the elder brother moved away from the swing, Jeno jumped off. He expected some rough grittiness to meet his pale skin but he felt two huge hands around him.

"Now Mr. Buzz Lightyear, don't fly without even growing a nice pair of wings." His father's deep yet soft tone always reminded Jeno of a hum, a melodious hum. He heard his father's tune.

They had gotten a photo clicked in the playground that day. It was the one thing Jeno didn't want to ever part with, but, when they started leaving for longer durations, Doyoung asked Jeno whether he could keep it with himself. Jeno didn't want Doyoung to cry agin so he reluctantly permitted Doyoung the possession of the only proof of the fact that Jeno was content once.

Last Christmas, Jeno felt the need to take the photo back. He very bluntly wrote in his wish list that he wanted a family photo that was taken in playground. And as luck went, he got a Photoshopped photo of the family instead. 

Although he had lost just the evidence, Jeno believed that even if was a dream, it was better than the present. It was better than remembering the stale roast chicken of the Christmas' thereafter. He preferred to just keep it safe somewhere like his heart.

This was one of the eleven times Jeno's father had said something to him. He was quiet man. It didn't bother Jeno now as much as it did when he was a kid. Now, he liked this mannerism of his. 

He tried to go all silent on Mark and Jeno once in middle school. That resulted in Renjun being gay and Jeno with red knuckles. 

He then decided that it was not a good thing to do, being quiet. So he gave up on his resolute and resumed to being normal.

~*~  
"So you licked her hand?" Jeno asked, his eyes were watery yet again.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?"Jeno lost it and laughed loudly at Jaemin's reasoning. 

He placed his head on Jaemin's lap and continued his laughter, just a little soft now. "Comfy?" Jaemin tried to change the topic. "Yes, very." 

They went quiet again. God knows what time it was. They were just laughing at their embarrassing antics and time just flew past them at the speed of light. 

The moonlight too now only lit a quarter of Jaemin's face. His left side, illuminated, now showed the freckles in a different way. Somehow they seemed even more mesmerising. 

"You have freckles?"

"You saw them?"

"Mhm.."

"Wow, not a lot of a people notice it."

"Well, I did..."

"And?"

"And they're very beautiful."

Jaemin smiled wide at the other boy. It seemed as if he was affected by the words... As if he felt his heart react to his words.

"Thanks, Jeno."

Jaemin's hand reached out to Jeno's forehead and with the softest of touch, brushed his hair back with his fingers. With an unhealthy beating of his heart, Jeno closed his eyes in response, half to steady his heart and half because it felt nice. 

"Keep your curtains open." Jaemin said as softly as his caressing.

"Keep your ears open."

 

 

 

Keep your heart open.


	5. Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know! It's been very very long! I am so sorry!
> 
> I've come to a decision that I'll update as I wish... Which means it'll be every erratic... Anyhoo, I realized I was being late so I thought of uploading as soon as I typed the last full stop, THAT MEANS NO PROOF READING HAS BEEN DONE!!!! read at your own risk! Also, also, nomin development!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> NCT VISION– I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED!!!!

It was not a good morning at all. Ten boys hungover and just woken up. Jeno was laid out on the sofa in the den with Jaemin curled up next to him. Jeno squiggled a bit before he realised that there was Jaemin sleeping in peace, his face inches from Jeno's. The sun crept into the room and onto Jaemin's face. It looked like he was glowing... Glowing like the sun. It was so bright and beautiful. 

Jeno's body felt a current and his hand now found itself centimeters from touching Jaemin's skin. Millimeters distance, Jeno could feel the heat Jaemin's body radiated, he lightly glided a finger down one half of Jaemin's face. Jaemin shifted and Jeno's hand retreated. "Jaemin...," Jeno sighed, "you scared me." 

A loose and dry hum came from the sleepy head. "Jeno, I am not that scary..." 

~*~  
Breakfast was water and lots of water. Thankfully the house seemed okay but there was one thing out of place. 

In one of the corners of the living room there were two boys huddled together, a blanket for both of them. Doyoung's head resting on Jaehyun's shoulder and his arm holding the other close. It looked like two puppies sleeping together. Jeno smiled proudly at the two before clicking a photo of them. "They've done it... Ended their suffering, finally." Jaemin said as he looked over Jeno's shoulder at the photo he had clicked. "Yeah... Finally he won't cry with just me." Jeno smiled. 

"Or maybe he will... You're brothers you know." 

"Thanks Dr. Jaemin." 

Both of them shared a soft laugh.

The day had not been much exciting and the one source of probable entertainment had eloped when the boys went to the department store. 

Mark, Renjun, Lucas, Kun, Jaemin and Jeno found themselves sitting bored on the couch. "Well, let's go for a movie." Kun suggested.

"Sure." The zombies chimed.

*~*  
Before entering the movie hall for some romcom, Lucas stopped Jeno.

"Where were you and Jaemin yesterday night?"

"Upstairs." Jeno gulped a handful of cheese popcorn.

"Hmm... Cool." Lucas said with a straight face and ran ahead to catch up with the others.

By the time Jeno reached the seats, all of them were taken except the one on the very corner and next to Jaemin. "Hey guys shift in." Jeno announced. No one shifted and blatantly ignored him. "Go inside!" Kun said tonelessly.

"Illogical ass." Jeno mumbled loud enough to get a scoff out of Kun.

After purposely stepping on shoes and kicking every knee, Jeno sat next to Jaemin who was busy on his phone. Jeno peeked into it a bit just as Jaemin had closed an application. What now flashed on the screen was a wallpaper. A wallpaper of Jaemin, Kun and Lucas sitting on the beach and the sunlight falling on them in such a way that you could only see the silhouettes of three bright and cheerful teenage boys. Jeno wondered how mesmerising Jaemin's smile would have looked at that moment.

"Jeno, your nose is blocking my view..." Jeno jerked upright and ignored the laugh that came out of Jaemin's mouth. His mind wandered off to today's morning when he had touched Jaemin's face while he was asleep. On the lines of 'why the hell did I do that' and 'it must've been some weird impulse', Jeno shook his head and tried to focused on the movie.

During the intermission (for which Jeno and Jaemin refused to get up from their places), everyone gathered back into their seats and Jeno could've sworn that all of them looked at least once in his direction with a smirk. "Jeno?" The soft voice of an angel- 

"Yeah?" 

"I hate this movie."

"I didn't even see it." 

"Ha! Good for you... But do you - um - if you want, we can leave?" 

"PLEASE! Let's go before these headassed movie starts again!"

"Headassed?" Jaemin laughed as they both began leaving the movie hall.

~*~  
"It's not childish!" Jaemin protested.

"Yes it is! I mean, who puts extra chocolate in there triple chocolate waffle?" Jeno snorted a loud laugh.

Jaemin elbowed Jeno's gut and pouted. "I just love chocolate... What's childish with that... You're being very extra..." 

Jeno shook his head. He ruffled Jaemin's head and pinched his cheek. " Aw... I'm sorry Jaemin... Chocolate is really amazing! I'm really sorry." A smile flashed across Jeno's face which was reciprocated by Jaemin soon after. 

The two boys had no such plans to return to the hall nor plans for doing something after leaving the hall. They ended up in a cafe where Jeno order cheesecake and Jaemin order a triple chocolate waffle with extra chocolate. Jeno called it 'quadruple waffle' and that ensued Jaemin's annoyance. Jeno found Jaemin to be a nice company. Even with the fact that they had different personalities and didn't know each other for long, both found the others presence quite calming. Jeno really hoped that Jaemin would listen to his tunes–his outbursts–by keeping his window opened. 

When the food arrived all these mindless thoughts were forgotten as Shrek one and Shrek two tackled the desserts.

*~*  
"Where to next?" 

A place clicked in Jeno's mind and before long the two boys found themselves in a bus travelling to the outskirts of the city. 

Forty minutes in and Jaemin sighed. "Where is this bus taking us?" 

"Till the outskirts and if we're lucky, we won't have to walk the remains few kilometers..." Jeno busied himself in his phone, tapping away a few keys and pocketing it as he continued, "we may get scolded when we get back but hopefully we'll be late enough so that everyone is asleep."

"Jeno, all I know is that we're in a bus to nowhere and that I'll only be alive if I rely on the trust I have on you–"

"Jaemin, have you ever wondered why all of us such good friends?" 

"You're diverting the conversation... But I'll let it slip this time."

Jeno looked outside the bus. The woods weren't that far but they didn't have to go that far. "We need to get off at the next stop." 

And so they did. Jaemin held onto Jeno's shoulders as they walked into a barren land. On the left of the field there were trees, the beginning of the woods and on the right were the outskirts of the city, with a few houses scattered along the road. Jeno walked straight forward, no turns and kept up this direction until Jaemin felt as if they were trying to find an edge of earth. There was a sudden stop to Jeno's feet. Jaemin sighed in relief as he saw Jeno sitting down on the dry grass. "Well... Jaemin Na... Sit down, it's going to light up soon."

However skeptical Jaemin must've have thought this plan was, Jeno knew he would be patient through and through. Jaemin sat down, rubbing the back of his neck in exhaustion. "Why are you guys such good friends Jeno?" 

Jeno smiled as he looked up at the sky. "We all are from disfunctional families. Not like we have a family feud or something but then again, we never knew how it felt to be scolded by our parents... Or how it felt to come back home from school and find your mom baking cookies and shit– oh, look up!"

The sun had been setting as they walked here. Now, it had completely set, darkness of the night as relevant as the light in Jeno's eyes when he looked up. Jaemin followed his movement. 

To say he was mesmerised would be like saying that Coke and chicken are 'just fine'. There was the moon, the stars and the little dragonflies crossing the view a few times. But what caught Jaemin's eyes was a small dot that glowed brighter than a diamond. It outshined the moon.

"Venus." Jeno beat him to it.

"Venus." Jaemin said it anyway.

"I know it was too much to travel till here but then again I thought it would add to the aesthetics." 

"It's working it's magic..." Jaemin stole a look at Jeno who was still looking up at the sky. He looked so lost. Lost in the pool of stars. Lost amongst everyone who knew what they were. Somebody should tell Venus how bright it is...

Jaemin took out his phone and wasted no time in clicking a photo of his Venu– Jeno. 

~*~  
"Food..." Jaemin grumbled. "Food..." 

"Okay, okay! We'll go to a diner." Jeno held Jaemin's wrist and ran towards a diner. Neon signs glowing in the dark and high school students drinking appetising milkshakes make Jeno think of the diner as a safe place. 

The two boys were quick to eat their food. As soon as they finished, a boy–green hair, white hoodie and a hat spinning in his hand– approached them. "Hello! I am Chenle, a sophomore. You?" 

"Jaemin and that's Jeno, juniors." Jaemin smiled, showing his teeth as he shook Chenle's hand. "Well, this place is South side's students' hangout and I'm assuming you aren't from here... But! That doesn't matter! So, it's time to crank up Joe's music so I'd like if you both joined us too!" 

Jaemin and Jeno looked at each other. Chenle had a fast mouth but the way the kid smiled with his teeth, the two couldn't refuse. The first few songs they found themselves gently tapping their feet to the music due the awkwardness of dancing carelessly in the midst of strangers. It was not until Chenle and his best friend Jisung joined them that they loosened up a bit. Jisung was a great dancer, almost a pro and Chenle singing along sometimes made the song ten times better. 

Soon after Chenle and Jisung left, Jeno and Jaemin swayed their hips to a retro song. The lyrics were quite romantic and Jeno didn't fail to notice Jaemin smiling a bit at the chorus. The other advanced a step closer and placed his arms on Jeno's shoulders. Jeno felt warmth in his skin, especially his ears. Jaemin flashed a big smile, unabashedly showing his blushed ears. The music seemed to have reached its second verse and Jeno felt as if it had just begun, time seemed to have slowed down. Jaemin removed one of his hands only to hold Jeno's wrist and guide his hands to his waist. The smile didn't leave his face. Jeno looked at him, with all seriousness, once his hands relaxed on Jaemin's waist. He looked so beautiful. His brown eyes glowing and his nose scrunched up a bit. Just like how he looked when sunlight fell on him in the school bus. He could see his freckles hidden under the pink tint of his blush. He glanced at Jaemin's smile, pink lips stretched from one ear to the other in the brightest smile Jeno had seen in his entire life. He looked so surreal, so radiant, so... So magnificent. 

*~*  
By the time they reached home, the lights were off and there was a lack of screams and laughs.

"They're asleep." Jaemin skipped as they reached the porch. Jeno chuckles as he shook his head at the brown haired boy. 

"Jeno?" The two boys stopped in an instant as if the police had caught them red handed. Jeno stepped forward and saw Doyoung sitting on the stairs in front of the main door. "Doyoung..."

"Jaemin, could I have my brother to myself for a sec?" Jaemin nodded quickly and shuffled inside and once the door clicked shut, Doyoung sighed.

"We need to talk."

"What's between you and Jaehyun?" Jeno asked, bringing his knees up to his chest as he sat next to his elder brother.

"We're together... I know it sounds uncertain and it's only because I–"

Jeno's curious eyes widened.

"He took me out after the lap dance shit and he confessed... Everything... From how he first denied liking another boy to how he thought I didn't like him back and many more absurd things... And we kissed and- and I didn't tell him I liked him too... So... You know, he keeps doing shit to make me fall for him... Which I already had done long back but I was too stunned and amazed when he opened up to me...", Doyoung ran his hands through his hair, definitely showing that he was stressed, "what am I to do now, Jeno? Please tell me what to do?"

Jeno sighed, shook his head in disbelief and then laughed. Laughed loudly. "Bro, you are so dumb! Just confess! It's that simple... Look what you guys have and will have is beautiful because you're each others problems and solutions and it's perfect... When you're with him, I don't see the Doyoung whose parents left him on Christmas, since his childhood, to be precise... I see Doyoung... Bright, smart, amazing and perfect for Jaehyun. He's as precious to me as he is to you and I don't want either of to get hurt... So just tell him how you feel... Right now." 

"Right now?" Jeno shook his head again knowing that his brother hadn't even heard most of his very emotional and well put pep talk. Still, he got up, dusted his butt and smiled with his teeth. "Right now." 

Before Doyoung could protest or even say 'but', Jeno rushed inside the house. He saw the familiar bloch of brown hair and the infamous jean jacket dangling from the couch. Jeno stood Infront of it. He took in a deep breath. No one else was in sight... They must've sleep upstairs tonight. 

Jeno rubbed his hands together, warming them up a bit. "Jeno, don't–" 

Doyoung gasped mid sentence as he heard the loud echoing sound of a slap. 

Brown hair, jean jacket boy screamed in pain. "WHAT THE FUCK?! WHO'S THE RETARDED BITCH WHO SLAPPED ME?! YOU'RE DEAD, BITCH!" 

"Bro, bro! Chill! I'm sorry but I had to get you to wake up! Doyoung need to talk to you! RIGHT NOW!" It must've been sibling telepathy or some supernatural shazam that Doyoung took the two words as his cue to speak up.

"I LOVE YOU, JAEHYUN! I'VE LOVED YOU BEFORE YOU EVEN THOUGHT OF ME AS A POTENTIAL CRUSH! I WAS JUST SHOCKED THAT DAY! YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY SO HARD TO MAKE ME FALL FOR YOU...", a deep breath, "because I am already gone to the point of no return... I love you so much Jaehyun... Please don't ever leave me..." Doyoung had fallen on his knees, tired and defeated. One could hear his tiny sobs echoing softly in the living room. 

Jaehyun had vanished from Jeno's side, only to be found hugging, more like squeezing Doyoung. A hearty laughter escaping his mouth before a shower of "i love you's" and finally a kiss (for which Jeno closed his eyes). 

"Welp, I'm off to sleep bros! Goodnight... Oh, kids are everywhere so please don't try anything tonight!" Jeno waved at the two and made his way upstairs. A smile was plastered on his face. "Stupid lovebirds.." 

"Hey!" Renjun jumped out of nowhere but he failed to ignite a reaction out of Jeno. "Hey Renjun, 'sup?" Jeno smiled.

"Thoughts...?" 

"Thoughts about?"

"High school shit?"

"Love life?" 

"Maybe?" 

"Maybe?"

"Almost definitely?" 

"Mark?" 

"Fucking Mark Lee." 

"That's your thought? Damn–"

"Shut up, ass... Though it is there in the very dark corner of my mind..."

"Do you even have a dark corner?"

"You know that better than me..." 

"Yeah..."

"How was your eloping with Jaemin?" 

"We went to the outskirts, saw stars and danced with south side juniors."

"Danced?" 

"Yeah... Danced." 

"Mark danced."

"Not with you, I assume..."

"With me..."

"WAIT WHAT?! JESUS! How are you alive?" 

Then Renjun proceeded to tell Jeno about how Mark put his arm on his shoulder to dance and even held his hand to guide him through the crowd. He even gave him a lick of his ice cream cone after the movie in the after. Renjun did mention the heavy air around Doyoung when Jaehyun brought him pancakes in the evening. To that Jeno narrated the love story that took place a few minutes ago. The two shared quiet laughs together and then went off to sleep in anyone's sleeping bag.

*~*  
It was the evening of the proceeding day. Everyone was settling down in a circle in the living room to play games, just like the first day. But today they were smirking wickedly at two special people– Jaehyun and Doyoung. Mark was the most excited, along with Lucas.

They gathered the beer and soda cans and placed them in the centre table. Jaehyun and Doyoung had choses the bean bag to sit on. Doyoung nestled away in between Jaehyun's legs. They looked happy. They looked content. They were finally having a summer that they'd never forget.

"Hey Jenos!" Mark called out from the kitchen. Jeno walked up to him. "Jenos?"

"Whatever man! Look, I've got to do something!" Mark said pacing around the kitchen island. 

"What's wrong?" 

"I don't know– I– did Renjun talk to you yesterday?" Oh. Jeno thought. Renjun. Jeno smirked at the worried boy. Mark worried about Renjun... Jeno almost wanted to laugh wickedly but he settled with a soft chuckle.

"Why?"

"I– Okay! So, Renjun and I were dancing and he put one of his arms–"

"Yeah, so? Your friends can't touch or what?" Jeno was trying so hard to contain his laughter; more so after his question.

"No! It– it wasn't a friendly touch... I mean he definitely meant in some other way– lingering touches, fingertips snaking their way up me body– that's not even the point! The point is, I felt this electricity and the next I saw were my hands around him..." Mark sighed now, slowing down a bit at the end. He looked down, took a deep breath and them looked Jeno straight in the eyes.

"I don't want you to be alone, you know? And I know, I know very well that this feeling of mine is mutual... Taeyong explained it to me... But, I won't take a step until I find someone who will be there for you always... I won't leave you alone." 

Jeno kept staring at his friend. All Jeno did was keep quiet and cry and look for attention, all while his two closest and most dearest friends denied their true relation just to "be there" for him. Jeno wanted to slap Mark. He wasn't alone and he wouldn't be alone even if Mark and Renjun dated because he knew he had Doyoung–

Oh, wait. He had no one now. 

He had no one.

He had no one forever.

The "greasy hands" kid was never seen in the playground for long.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Jeno has rough hands... Had you ever noticed?" Jaemin told Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My twitter is @boombasticbacon


	6. Present Perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've kinda proofread it now!!!
> 
>  
> 
> AND THANK YOU GUYS FOR 1K HITS SJJDJDKSKSKSJSJS !!!
> 
> AS A REWARD HERE IS AN EPIC CHAPTER!!!!
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> Don't forgetti to leave your kudos and comments!!!

***one and half years ago***  
_It so happened that Jeno was sort of excited for school. It was only week ago that Renjun came out to everyone in school. He loved that nobody was too "stuck up" and as for the rest, Jeno was built nicely enough to scare them off. He was so happy. So, so, so happy. He didn't know the reason but he just was. He wondered if he would be this happy ever again..._

_He reached school. Renjun and Mark had left on their bikes earlier than Jeno because they had to do something with the sports teacher. He skipped his way into his classroom. A wide grin smashed into his face, squished eyes searching for his two closest friends. Surprised to see two empty last benches, adjacent to each other, Jeno's eyes came back to normal and he covered his teeth but he still had his lips curved up. Nothing could spoil my mood today, he thought to himself._

_He headed to the football ground. He didn't know why exactly would he see Mark and Renjun here when there was a higher chance to find them at the basketball court. He just felt it in his gut._

_No one was visible on the ground itself but there was something. Something eerie about it all. Jeno turned his head a bit and saw a hint of blue behind the spaces of the bleachers. He jogged to the spot, hearing a bit of banter as he neared it._

_"Renjun–" Jeno's eyes widened and he boosted to the place in top speed. His eyes stung as soon as he saw it._

_Renjun on the ground, curled up into a ball. Mark being held by three other guys as he tried to kick and break free. And the guy who laughed as he put his shoe on Renjun's face, curled blonde hair sticking to his neck because of sweat and his lips curled up in a wicked way, Justin._

_"Hey!" Jeno yelled. Justin scoffed and turned back to face Jeno. "What do you want Lee?" He had the audacity to ask._

_"Leave my friends alone." The finality Jeno had in his voice would have been enough for Justin to stop but sadly he had forgotten to draw a line._

_"These people?! These faggots?! These abnormal, unnecessary, useless, selfish, unwanted scum?! These aren't your friends Lee! These are nobody's friends– Especially him!" He says before kicking Renjun with all his might. Jeno clenches his jaw in annoyance and anger and pure hatred._

_"Leave them alone Justin. If you want to fight a fag, fight me. I am like them, if you didn't know."_

_"Don't joke Lee! Don't fall so low for them!"_

_And Jeno lost it. "YOU BULLSHIT MOTHER FUCKER," the bell for second period rang in the distance,"WHAT PART OF LEAVE THEM ALONE DON'T YOU NOT GET?! Fight a man of your level at least you_ **_faggot_ ** _." A punch came flying in a Jeno. Jeno wouldn't invite this punch if he couldn't dodge it. What a sore punch, Jeno almost chuckled._

_"That was pathetic." Jeno said before punching Justin's nose. Justin fell on the ground. The little blotch of blood on Jeno's knuckles set a current in his nerves and he found himself kicking Justin on his chest. He straddled himself on his chest and punched his right cheek. Again and again. Kept punching while he shouted at him. "THEY'RE NOT FAGGOTS YOU BITCH! HOW DARE YOU CALL THEM THAT! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN HAVE THE AUDACITY TO FUCKING OPEN YOUR SHITHOLE OF A MOUTH TO BULLY MY FRIENDS! THEY'RE NOT FAGGOTS! AND THEY'RE BETTER THAN YOUR SCRAWNY PUSSY, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"_

_Before he could flatten Justin's face, he heard Renjun's cries. "Jeno, stop! Stop! Please!"_

_"Why do you want me to stop Renjun?! Are you stupid?!"_

_"Mark! Stop him!" And he did. Pulling Jeno up with all his might, detaching the two bodies and dragging him far away form the bleachers. They found themselves in a washroom which Mark locked as soon as they entered._

_Jeno groaned in frustration. "Renjun have you lost it–"_

_"Shut up Jeno! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!"  Mark yells. "Let's just please take care of Renjun first."_

_Renjun was curled on the floor, groaning with pain. They tended to Renjun in silence, finishing up all the tissues in the process. They sit on the floor till they hear the bell ring for third period._

_"Jeno..." Renjun speaks. "Jeno, thanks. Thank you so much." Jeno laughs._

_"What were you doing there Renjun? Why did you ask me to stop?"_

_"Stop pressuring him. He doesn't have to tell you everything. He's said thanks, end it there Jeno." Mark says, definitely irritated._

_"Both of you! Listen to me for a second, will ya?" Renjun's voice echoes in the washroom. "I went there to confess to Justin. Yes, I liked him. I told Mark because he figured it out and I didn't tell you that because I wanted to just give you the good news Jeno. I just wanted to give you something to be happy about because I saw you these past days, I saw you. I saw how sad you were and how– fuck! I can't even give you happiness! I suck as a friend. I really do. I don't deserve the both of you. I don't! I knew a gay guy like me would be better off alone–" in the quiet, it was easier to hear his sobs, easier to notice his pain._

_Jeno leaned back against the washroom's wall, slowly sliding down. He burrowed his head in his knees. Wrapping his arm around his legs, Jeno took a deep breath. It wasn't Renjun who wasn't a good friend. It was Jeno. It was Jeno who was so dwelled up in his sadness that he couldn't even figure out that Renjun had eyes on someone. He wasn't there when he was needed. He was never there. Not when Renjun got hit, not when Mark was held back— he was so selfish that all he saw was how sad and hurt he was. He forgot about the two people who had tried so hard to make him happy, to keep Jeno together and not let him break. Jeno bit his lip, gulping down a sob. He had cried once in front of them, he won't be that selfish again. Shaking his head, he got up._

_Renjun was sitting cross-legged with his head in his hands and Mark was leaning against the wash basin. Jeno walked up to Renjun and hugged him tightly. Renjun bursted. Loud sobs, gasps, sniffles._

_"I am the worst friend one could ask for Renjun. Don't ever say otherwise. It's weird how I still have you and Mark next to me. I— I promise not to be selfish again Renjun. I promise to be there."_

_Renjun cried for another fifteen minutes before the three of them walked out of the washroom. It was lunch break when they decided to just bunk school and go home. At home they had a Marvel movie marathon and around ten cans of coke._

_The following few weeks, Jeno fought with Justin quietly behind the bleachers without telling Renjun and Mark. It wasn't a big deal to hide it from them as he always remained unscathed. Jeno believed he was doing good._

_Then one day someone recorded their fight and Renjun and Mark scolded Jeno for an hour. After that they went to have some pizza at Ten's. There were still a few agitations and mistakes made by the three that bothered them but they moved past it. They let it fade like the ice that melts when spring takes over._

_**~** _ **present time~**

"Hey Jeno!" Jaehyun called out from the kitchen. Most of the boys had gone swimming except Jeno and Jaehyun who were on cleaning duty. "What?" Jeno walked to the kitchen.

Jaehyun was cleaning the kitchen counter. "See, I wanted to take Doyoung on a date. Where do you think I should take him?" Jaehyun was confident when he needed to be. He didn't waste time beating around the bush.

Jeno wasn't the least bit surprised. He just smiled. "Sure! He loves his meat so probably a barbeque joint... Oh! Don't take him to a fancy place... Bad memories..." 

"Oh... Cool, thanks. I wish he would open up to me, you know. Even when we weren't a "thing", I told him a lot of things. My own emotions– I spread my heart out infront of him and he doesn't even tell me his favourite food!" Jaehyun ran a hand through his silky hair which fell right back on his forehead. 

"Jaehyun, don't worry! Seriously! He'll come around! I promise! It's just that he didn't want to bother anyone with more worries apart from their own. He's the elder brother, he's got to be strong and locked up. He just wants to protect people... Give him time... You guys have only begun..." Jeno said before he disappeared into the stairwell and went upstairs.

He walked into the den. Glancing over the room which he cleaned about an hour ago, he looked at the shut window.

_"Keep your window open."_

Jeno found himself opening the window without much hesitation. He pulled apart the curtains giving him a view of Jaemin's room. It wasn't overdone nor was it super plain. His sheets were blue, two pillows, a study table, a nice chair, a soft board hung up opposite to the window. Jeno leaned over the window ledge to get a look at the board.

There were photos, five of them. All of them containing Jaemin, Lucas and Kun except one. It looked more recent than the others. There was a glare of red and blue lights, a few bodies about to jump and in the centre of the frame, the place where the camera was focused, two boys, one holding the other by his waist and the other pair of arms on the shoulders of the boy with black hair. Jeno blinked to see clearly the photo of him and Jaemin dancing together. It was from the day they skipped the movie.

Jeno's heart flipped. It was the most beautiful picture he had ever seen. It was astonishing how Jaemin's brown hair were complimented by the lights and how his teeth were visible because of his beautiful laugh. It was one hell of a photo. It made Jeno uneasy. He didn't know why his stomach churned as he remembered Jaemin from that night and the night before and today morning and yesterday morning. Flashes of Jaemin came into Jeno's mind. Jaemin was so beautiful. So fragile yet strong. He was such a wonderful boy.

"Hey Jeno!" Jaemin bright smile pulled Jeno out of his thoughts. His eyes squinting, lips stretched up and cheeks red. He looked so cute. "What were you looking at Mr. Stalker?"

Jeno's eyes fell on the photo again for a second and when he looked back at Jaemin, it hit him.

"Sorry, gotta go!"

Jeno rushed out of the den and locked the door of his room before squishing his face into a pillow and squealing like a small girl. Jeno tossed and turned on his bed until his comforter was on the floor along with one of the pillows and his sheets were crumpled badly. He spread his limbs out on the bed, his eyes focused on the false ceiling.

He sighed.

He ran a hand through his hair.

He sighed again.

"Fuck." 

Jeno may have just developed a crush.

 _~*~*_  
"First off, Lee Jeno! Stop freaking out. It's just a crush, isn't it? A small, insy winsy tinsy crush that you have on probably the most beautiful boy in the whole motherfucking universe... Nothing to be so worried about! We already know you don't have a chance with him! Just be glad for the time he danced with you!"

"Fuck! What if I start liking him?!"

"What if he confesses first— oh no, no, no this is very wishful thinking, you dumbfuck!"

 _"_ Why him of all people?"

"What should I do now?"

The whole afternoon Jeno talked to himself, giving himself valuable techniques and lessons and stuff he needed to survive his feelings for Jaemin and his presence near him. Oh, poor Jeno, he has fallen into a deep rabbit hole now.

Jeno Lee was "love guru" only because he never liked anyone himself. He had too much free time on his hands so he spent them giving love advice to his youngsters, elders and even equals. He was a master of how to get two people together. But when it came to himself, this poor guy couldn't even handle his "crush" in a pair of jeans and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt, the same attire he wore on his first day of school.

As Jaemin took steps towards Jeno, his heart started beating more rapidly. His stomach twisted and butterflies fluttered in it.

"Hey Jeno, you okay?" Jaemin's smooth voice twirled down Jeno's pinna like butter on a hot pan. "Mhm." Was all he could manage right now. "Well that's good... Anyway, what were you looking at in my room that you didn't even notice me?"

Fuck. Jeno wouldn't survive this interrogation. He wished he could die. Just as Jeno gathered up the courage to answer, Jaemin's shoulders brushed past Jeno and he freaked out. "Sorry Jae, gotta go!" And yet again Jeno found himself tossing around in his bed, his restless heart not giving him a break. How was he going to survive this summer break?

^•^•  
As I pinned up the photo, I looked at it for a while. I wanted to appreciate how fine his black hair looked and how the lights enhanced his smooth skin and how his smile stabbed my heart everytime my eyes fell on it. He was so good looking. He was so strong yet fragile. 

I may have developed a liking for him.


	7. Pacemaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SKSKSKSKSK! FUCK MAN, I HAD SO MANY EXAMS GOING ON FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS!!!! ILL BE FREE MID MARCH AND I'LL UPDATE FASTER THA. THE SPEED OF LIGHT!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> THANKYOU FOR 1K+ HITS SJRJDKZMDJD I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!

Jeno needed a break. Big time.

He needed a break from his messy house, his friends, his brother, his always-wanting-to-impress-Doyoung friend and finally the biggest reason he was listening to Shinee's View on the second floor escalator of the mall, Na Jaemin.

For the past two days he had been so sensitive to Jaemin's presence that he had to put a stop to it. He need to stop jumping whenever he saw him or even heard his name. It was so overwhelming to just crush over someone, Jeno tried to refrain himself for thinking about liking someone... Liking Jaemin would be a fucking firework. He liked to imagine that.

Jeno stepped off the escalator and turned right. The third floor had a Starbucks for which Jeno had his membership points and a very, very big computer cafe where he was about to play games with strangers for the whole day.

He made his way to Starbucks and placed an order. His card was under his mom's name and so his cup had her name (and also because the employee could never not fuck up a four letter name).

Even though it wasn't that they had died but their severe absence made it seem like that on the first look. But then again, Jeno wouldn't be such a sweet boy without his mom and such a smart guy without his dad. They tried their best to be with the boys, all the parents of all the boys of the group did, to spend as much time as they could with them as soon as they came back. Their jobs just required them to be so "busy". Jeno would've not ordered a nice grande iced Americano if it wasn't for his parents working their ass off. He respected his parents. Doyoung was the worst hit of the two. Missing his performance at the school's annual function was still fine but missing Thanksgiving dinner was what broke him. He didn't hate them but there wasn't any love that would squeeze out of him soon.

He sipped the coffee, unlocking his phone to check on any missed calls and such. He put it on silent and walked to the internet cafe.

On his way his eyes fell on the unisex salon and he stopped, turned and thought. He could get a haircut or some kind of weird ass aromatic facials but then decided it would be a waste of money. Anyway he was going to look the same, not much different, and his friends won't even know about it if they were not up in his face, noticing every little detail... Which they usually did not. He got ready to walk away but he didn't. Something held him back.

He didn't understand what exactly was it but he felt like going inside the salon. So he did. 

*~*  
About three hours later, Jeno found himself running his hands through his hair repeatedly, staring at himself in the full length mirror near the salon's payment counter. "Do you like it?" The lady behind the counter asked. "I don't really know but thank you for this." He replied with a smile, handing over the money to the lady.

He ran his hand again through his hair, now white, and all he could think of was that all it did was make his bowl cut a little bearable.

Jeno felt weird as he walked to the internet cafe. He didn't even feel like playing games anymore.

"Fuck. What the actual fuck was I thinking? I'm so screwed! I can't go back like this! What would everyone think? Shit, Jaemin would see me like this!" And Jeno ran. He ran out of the mall and headed to his house. Once he reached the porch he squinted to check if anyone was there. The rooms weren't displaying silhouettes and neither could he hear noises. He took that to be a good sign. Jeno rushed and into his den, locking the room's door. He laid on the sofa and left a out a breath he had been holding in.

Jeno looked at the window... For some useless reason he hoped for Jaemin to just pop in and smile. Jeno loved his smile, even if he did not have this developing teenage crush on Jaemin, he'd never ever not admire his smile. Thoughts of Jaemin tired Jeno's mind and the boy drifted off to sleep.

~^~  
"Psst, Jeno! JENO LEE!" Jeno woke up to calls. He rubbed his eyes and quickly scanned the room. "Over here stupid, the window!" Jeno stumbled to the window, parted the curtains and looked at the brown hair... Then the brown eyes.

"Jaemin, 'sup?" Jeno stretched a bit. Finally waking up and being able to see clearly, Jeno looked at Jaemin. Jaemin's mouth was open, neck red and eyes still, not blinking at all. "Jaemin, you okay?" Jeno furrowed his eyebrows in concern.

Jaemin shook his head and closed his mouth. "Your hair?!" He pointed out. Jeno reacted to it by squealing in surprise and hiding it under the curtains. "Shit, fuck! Don't look!" Jeno spoke in pure distress. Jaemin blinked a few times and shook his head. He took in a deep breath and as he exhaled he looked at Jeno with soft eyes and a big smile... No, it wasn't a smile... That one sided curve and the smug aura around his whole body... Jaemin motherfucking Na just smirked at Jeno. Jeno said his last words to the world.

"What?" Jeno stumbled out.

"Nothing Jeno... I'm sorry for that... Don't hide your hair... You just looked so goddamned hot with that just-out-of-bed hair... Which is now white and so sexy!" Jaemin finally gave up the smirk and smiled, only after winking at Jeno.

Here is small preview of what went on in Jeno's mind:  
FUCKGSSHHSJSKAKSHXJSKSHD JAEMINCALLEDMESEXYANDHOTANDHEWINKED AND WHAT WAS HE TRYING TO ACHIEVE FROM THAT DJDJXNSKAKSJBSJXKXNSMSKALISJCJDKSKD THANKYOU JESUS!!!! EHSHSJSKAKDJFKEKE–okay–KYAAAAAAAAAAA! yeah, okay.

Jeno removed the curtain from his head. He ran his hand through his hair and gave a nervous smile to Jaemin. "Thanks?" Jaemin snorted at the confused answer. He leaned his weight over the ledge of his window and directed Jeno to come closer to him.

Jeno leaned in, wondering for quarter of a second about how it was a bad architectural plan for two houses to be this close. "Hm?"

"I wanna see that sunset again."

Jeno rushed downstairs.

~*~  
The moment one knows how deeply they are caught in how mesmerising someone else is when they don't bother to see the beautiful woods rushing past the huge windows of the public bus and focus of only on that someone.

Jeno had been doing it since day one. The day Jaemin flashed his smile on the school bus, Jeno couldn't help but tangle his red strings together. He was also ready to accept that it was only him that was getting tangled. He didn't feel sad nor disappointed, in fact, he felt so happy that it was Jaemin that make him a mess.

The bus stopped and the two boys got down. They walked, Jeno leading Jaemin. This time Jeno took a route through the woods, for the aesthetics. "Stop! Stay there! Do NOT move!" Jeno stilled his movements as soon as he heard Jaemin's voice. Turning a bit to see what had happened. "No, I said don't move!"

"What the fuck happened Jaemin? Are you okay?" Jeno noticed Jaemin's phone in his hands.

"Just– one sec... Okay! Carry on with your life, child." Jaemin started to walk again.

"Jaemin..." Jeno put his hands on his waist like an annoyed mother. Furrowed brows made Jaemin alert but he tried to escape the situation by putting Jeno in a headlock and ruffling his hair. "C'mon man, the sunset!"

Jeno freed himself from the pain and continued his navigation. Soon after they found themselves in the same barren land where they had seen the sunset together a few days back.

They sat down on the dry grass, eagerly waiting for the sun to disappear.

"Why did you want to come here?" Jeno asked, _only_ because he didn't like the sound of a billion crickets.

"I had fun the last time, that's why."

"But, why with me? You knew the place... Could've come by yourself... I used to."

"First off, I don't know the place like you do and because I like being with you, I didn't feel like going alone."

"Sure, will believe that _completely_."

"Come on, Jeno! Why is so tough to get you to see things? I mean when you do see them, you make things better but you see them so slowly..."

"What does that mean? Am I missing out on something? Are going to "talk" to me about "something"? Wait, is one of the boys madly in love with someone? I swear this group is going to be the fucking face of Asian Gays Committee."

"The fuck?!" Jaemin laughed. "That was so dumb but it does seem believable... Haha... Anyway, what I meant was that you think so thoroughly about things that you forget that some things are just out there..."

"Huh... I never thought of that..."

"Nah, you don't have to... I like that you think it through–"

"But you're wrong. I don't think shit through. I get boiling hot and just pop off the lid of sanity. I almost killed a guy just because I got mad for one thing and then another and another and I couldn't stop. For a while I thought that Renjun stayed by my side only to control the stupid monstrosity I hold inside me."

Jaemin nodded sullenly to that. A few minutes of heavy silence and then he spoke.

"Listen Jeno, everyone's done shit. Everyone has been a monster but the fact that you control it and that it doesn't control you makes you what you are. You're an amazing guy who will give up his everything for anyone who is remotely nice to you," a deep breath, "I understand you're scared... I didn't help you in any way either... But just so you know, everyday the sun sets and my window remains open."

If this was two girls instead of Jeno and Jaemin, Jeno would cry and hug the shit out of Jaemin. But it wasn't and Jeno couldn't do anything but hum in agreement. It wasn't because he was nervous to open his mouth around Jaemin (certainly _not_ because if his newly developed feelings) because he knew there was nothing left to be spoken.

You could classify it as a feeling of "agreement and understanding" that best friends have– like a single nod told you everything you needed to know. Jeno felt that but the mere fact of anything more intimate hanging in the air made the two not even require a glance at each other. The air changed so smoothly between them that if they were not inexperienced-and-curious-gays-who-were-rich-asian-kids-with-a-lot-of-emo-shit-in-their-mind, they would know how the other felt "romantically" for them.

It was different though, being oblivious to the certain mutuality in the air and yet sensing every other thing out of it, the sheer experience of that oblivion is what made liking someone fun and exciting. Think of it as like you knowing your mom is making you lasagna because you can smell it but it overpowers the smell of the brownies that are in the oven. You could call it the lack of receptors on Jeno and Jaemin's heart that they were acting like "bros" while watching a sunset with really seemed pretty dull in front of the warmth the two radiated together.

"Hey, Jeno?"

"Hm?"

"If you were to ever play a melody about me... Not that you have to! But if you feel like it, please don't make it superficial." Jaemin's voice sounded so serious like he was almost giving his final words to Jeno.

"Could you– what do you mean?" Of course, Jeno didn't get it.

"What I mean is that play the keys _you_ think fit me not what I want the keys to be... Like–"

"Like if people are awaiting for an A major, I'll go in with that sneaky D minor because that's what I hear you as."

"Yeah. That."

"Jaemin, wanna go get some food?"

"Yeah, I am starving."

They went and ate at the same diner where they met Chenle and Jisung. They met them again and danced again. This time though, Jeno felt every single sway. He also thought somewhere between Jaemin's dance on No Limit by Usher, his heart had skipped a beat so many times that he was certain he would die. Also, his penis showed no trust and was ready to leap off and do some weird ass shit. All in all, Jeno sat for an hour after Jaemin's performance.

Jeno found himself staring at Jaemin as they walked back home. They had taken a hitch with one of Jisung's friend YangYang who was an Asian-German kid. He went to a private school and was quite rich. He did have a very, _very_ good taste in music. It was inevitable to not have an amazing time in an SUV with epic songs in the background and Jaemin.

Back to the staring, Jeno thought about reaching out and intertwining his fingers with Jaemin's. He thought about it and then disregarded it like a used condom.

"Jaemin, do you like someone?" Jeno just wanted to break the silence, hoping that the answer didn't break his heart.

"Yeah... I mean I know I am too far gone to call it a crush..." Jeno heard a small crack.

"It's a boy?" Jeno being new to the whole heartbreak scenario.

"Yeah, I mean in case you didn't notice the 'I am GAY' banner on my ass, it's a boy."

The two shared a quiet laughter as if they didn't want anyone else to know about it. Jeno thought for a second.

If there existed even an ounce of logic in Jeno's mind, he would've have confessed his building emotions of "love" for Jaemin and they would've been making out around this time. But, our boy here was not even close to the "L" of logic, let alone confessions. He knew though that even if Jaemin's heart pulled him toward someone else and even though it broke Jeno's fist sized heart to pieces, like the biscuit base of a cheesecake, Jaemin would let him down as gently as possible. As he had once read in a fan fiction about BTS, if he was to define the extremes, he would drown for Na Jaemin.

Extremes.

Not yet reached them.

He would wait till he reached them though.

He wasn't ready for the firework, yet–

"Hey! Where you lost, Lee?" Jaemin shook Jeno's thoughts.

"Huh? Uh, yeah, I love pretzels."

"Yeah, I do too but that wasn't what I was talking about... Am I boring you?"

Logic: confession time.

Jeno: caramel pretzel.

"No, no ,no! You don't bore me at all! The best times of the day are the ones I spend with you!" Jeno felt the warmth of his cheeks.

"Really?" Jaemin's voice seemed surprised, his footsteps slowing down a bit.

"Yeah, really." Jeno matched their pace.

"Thanks, it means a lot... I mean I don't talk much so people seem to think I'm not interested in whatever we're doing," he stopped mid sentence in front of his house, "welp, I have some things to sort out at my place tonight... I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure. Night, Na Jaemin." Jeno admired how the moonlight generously lit up Jaemin's little smile.

"Wait!" Jaemin held Jeno's face in his hands and pulled him down a little.

Logic: kiss.

Jeno: slap.

Jeno's eyes were facing the ground where he could see his canvas shoes and Jaemin's running shoes. The running shoes lifted up a bit, not exactly on the tip of the toes, but the heels were off the ground. Jeno felt light breathing on his forehead.

Everything happened so slow.

Jaemin's lips grazed Jeno's forehead and then gradually, he felt the whole weight of two plump lips on his skin, making the area so hot that a person might think that the kid had a fever.

It didn't end there. Both of them stilled for a second. Then Jaemin pulled his head up and left a small peck on his nose after saying "boop".

Logic: Ambulance, doctor, hospital.

Jeno: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? WHAT IS HAPPENING?! DID I SMOKE WEED?! THE FUCK?! IT'S A WET DREAM, IT'S A WET DREAM, IT'S A WET DREAM– WHO THE FUCK MAKES "BOOP" SOUND SEXY?! HOW?! IT'S A WET DREAM.

Logic: it's a wet dream.

"Your hair looks so good Jeno... It really suits you... I'm looking forward to going to the lake house... Night, Lee Jeno."

The next two hours passed with Jeno standing in front of Jaemin's house–blank mind, tired feet, dry mouth.

Jeno then proceeded home.

The house was somewhat like this when Jeno entered it–

Mark: what the fuck? You can look sexy? Wait, no. It's white so I'll call you old!!! Hahahaha!!!

Renjun: yeah, first it's just one hair colour, next thing you know, Jeno the Unicorn bursts in through the door. Five years later, say goodbye to your hair! This the last time you get to bleach your luscious and beautiful hair! Get me, kid?

Doyoung: nice. Looks nice. How did Jaemin react to it? Also, you seem like you have a fever.

Jaehyun: looks nice. Better than Mark's perm phase. Haha!

Ten: well hello there, young man... You're looking like fine wine... Amazing Jeno, finally you seem like you know a bit about beauty!

Taeyong: anything is better than Mark's perm phase. Am I right Jaehyun? Also, you look cute with pink cheeks!

Lucas: hmm... I really dig it. But blonde boy Kun looks better. Probably matched Jaemin's preference... I mean, I don't know–

Kun: good one, Jeno. It's a good change... It's not bad so don't overthink about it.

The night came to a smoother pace when Jeno played his keyboard with Renjun and Mark. He liked it. The old way.

As the white sheer curtains flew like ocean waves, dry summer breeze keeping them in motion, Jeno could see the soft board and in the centre was a photo. He didn't try to squint to focus on it. He didn't want to try too hard to just see him and Jaemin together having fun. He didn't have to try too hard to look for unforgettable memories with Jaemin. He didn't have to do anything with Jaemin to make it special. All he had to do was breathe. Inhaling the same air as the boy who managed to bring out so much of Jeno in a few weeks that even Jeno had a hard time keeping up with himself was truly exhilarating.

Because Jeno knew that all he had to do to make memories with Jaemin was to play the tunes of his life and wait for a chestnut brown haired boy with a beautiful smile to look through his den's open window. That's all what was needed for a lifelong souvenir of happiness.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou for the hits!!! Please leave comments and kudos!!!
> 
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> 
> Love y'all, I am batman.
> 
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> Oof and he here is my twitter account: @sharan_got_jams


	8. Jeno Lee and the Secret of the Heart Chambers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRSTLY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY YEOJA CHINGUZZZZZZ!!!!! SKSKSKSKDBSJSBSJSB 
> 
>  
> 
> SECONDLY, yes, this is mid March! THIS IS MARCH! I am so sorry for the late update but twelfth standard really sucks out your creativity... I hope you all enjoy this one since we delve deeper into the homosexual side of Jeno. I find it VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO READ THIS NOTE because I know that my writing is all over the place and I can't really describe things and shit but I really like writing to the point. I am not the person and neither am I seeing things through his eyes... I believe that Jeno is a person of his own and we are some kind of omnipresent nanny-cam.

Close your eyes, imagine:

The sun still hasn't risen up and yet you lie awake on your bed, a smile plastered on your face; the curtains fluttering softly like your heartbeat. Your breaths steady and soft and your chest moving up and down like a rhythm you could get used to. You rush to your kitchen and you see your brother spreading jam over toasted bread. You smile, he smiles. You sit and eat in peace.

You smile, he smiles.

You sit and eat.

You smile, he smiles.

Peace.

A rhythm one could get used to.

Jeno felt like that. He felt good. Today was the day, the summer he was waiting for would begin now. The season was in it's prime now. It was the prime time.

A five hour drive followed by numerous fights for rooms assigned and lastly, ten beautiful days at Jaehyun's lake house.

Jeno had waited for it like a fan waits for a comeback.

Lucas and Kun were joining them. Jaemin was tagging along too. Jaemin was going to travel for five hours with Jeno. Jaemin was coming to the house with Jeno.

In conclusion, Jeno was having a seizure.

Every year there was a sequence of events that took place before the boys sat down in the cars:

(1) Jaehyun loses his lake house keys and this causes the boys to do a thorough search, wasting an hour only to find out that he had the keys in his bag.

(2)Renjun forgets to charge his phone and pack his chewing gum. This causes about a half an hour crying only to realise that he has a fast charging phone and a power bank.

(3) Doyoung (and Jaehyun now) waste a lot of time trying on clothes, just for the ride. Doyoung's room doesn't look good after this.

(4) Mark and Jeno blast mumble raps as they are sensible to do prior packing and proceed to waking up their neighbours with bad singing. This leads to a lot of scolding by Renjun and Jaehyun who prefer nursery rhymes.

(5) Ten takes a lot of time to set the mirrors of the car. This isn't inconvenient but the boys do get "triggered" after Ten takes more minutes than his name.

(6) This one is new—Jaemin walks out of his house in a tank top. He rests his bag on the bonnet of the black Chevy (Chevrolet) SUV and wears a Hawaiian short sleeved t-shirt over it, complete slow motion movie style. All the while Jeno stops his head banging over Gucci Gang only to witness this Oscar worthy beauty.

If one wanted, this would be the moment when Jeno breaks into a musical all about how much he is in obsession with Na Jaemin.

But this was Jeno and Jaemin.

*~*  
Close your eyes. Imagine:

You're in a car, the windows down as hot winds tingle sensations into your scalp, making their way through your hair. There's a song playing, your friends singing along to the song. You can feel everything. Every single thing ignites a feeling within you. You feel the feeling itself. You're awake, aware and you're breathing the air that seems like rainbows...

You stop at a gas station—pee break. You grasp this break to stare blatantly at your crush as they take off their Hawaiian shirt to wipe their forehead with their tank top's hem, exposing their beautiful torso. All the while you hide behind a Cosmopolitan magazine to look at them. Not at all creepy, you tell yourself.

The whole group complains about being thirsty for some cold drinks.

You end up gawking at how your crush opens up his soda can. The slow motion does not help how hot he looks, how you would take him right there and then if it wasn't for your pussy ass. Thankfully, Kun cracks a lame sexual joke and everyone seems to suddenly move, breaking the slow motion.

As you sip the last few drops of your soda, you look at the people in front of you. Beautiful faces that make up your family, your whole life. They would do anything for you and you would do anything for them. You feel bigger than the universe. You feel bigger than anything. You feel like wings would snap out of your back but sadly you weren't drinking any Red Bull.

On the road again, you are sitting in the middle of your best friend and your crush. You enjoy it, this moment. The person driving is your brother and his stupid boyfriend takes the passenger seat next to him. That stupid boyfriend also takes the job of DJ. The five people in car sing along to Ariana Grande, The Neighborhood and one whole album of Drake.

Jeno was so glad that Jaemin was there. They drove past woods, the sunlight flickering as it gets blocked and unblocked by the slender, woody barks. Jeno was so happy. They were eloping. Haha... Eloping with unresolved, unrequited, new and old relationships and friends.

There was about an hour and half left till they reached the house. It was quiet in the car now. Renjun was asleep, Jaehyun was driving for the last stretch and Doyoung was half asleep against the window. The car was a bit cold 'cause Jaehyun didn't not want hot winds anymore and had turned on the air conditioning.

Jaemin snuggled closer to Jeno. Jeno was leaning back against the uncomfortable middle seat crease. He noticed Jaemin fumbling with his phone, in reaction to which his own long fingers took the phone from Jaemin's slender ones.

"Hm?" Shit, a boner might just burst through the SUV's sun roof. Jaemin should not talk when he is sleepy.

"You've got a playlist called "tragic"." Jeno stated.

"So?"

"I wanna listen to it."

"Sure, earphones are in the jeans pocket."

"Okay, take 'em out, chief!"

Jaemin yawns. "I'm tired. You take them out."

"Okay... Lazy ass." Jeno was trying hard to just comprehend the low voice and now he had to slide his hand down Jaemin's jeans' pocket.

If this was Ten and Taeyong, this conversation would be a secret message for "I am horny, let's fuck".

If this was Kun and Lucas, this would not even be a complete conversation because they would already be doing it.

If this was Jaehyun and Doyoung, this would lead to both boys getting a boner and resolving the problem only once they had a private room.

If this was Mark and Renjun, they would run away to the storage house behind the main house and kiss a bit because they're "shy newlyweds".

But this was Jeno and Jaemin.

~*~

 

 

  
They arrive in the town where the lake house is. As the other two cars overtake the car with Jeno Jaemin, Renjun, Jaehyun and Doyoung, it stops at a convenience store so they could buy some food and “beverages”. Getting out of the car, five boys stretch like a bunch of 50 year olds trying their best at hot yoga. A trio of girls does keep staring at them which make for a great laugh for the boys. As second generation Asian-Americans, being smart and completely homosexual did make them easy targets for bullying but there was also the fact that most of them weren’t pussies and not that bad looking. Most of them referred to everyone else but Jeno. Jeno wasn’t a pussy physically but being openly gay or announcing that fact in the cafeteria like Renjun sure did stir up some bile in his mouth. He went as far as to call a person “fag” in his mind. He was ten at the time.

Getting inside the shop, the first thing that stirred up bile in his mouth was not the rat in front of his face but the boy holding the rat in front of his face. “Jeno Lee?!” the boy asked in a mixture of surprise and delight.

And how could you not expect Jeno to not smile stupidly at the boy with blonde hair, a single dimple on his right cheek (which was now more prominent than a few summers back), the black star shaped earrings, the two moles on his neck and memories of the most unforgettable summer of Jeno’s life.

“King Art?” Jeno smiled back. ‘King Art’ proceeded to hug Jeno but Jeno reminded him of the rat. He asked Jeno to wait for a second. While Doyoung, Jaehyun and Renjun got lost in the five aisles in the store, Jaemin waited with Jeno near the billing counter.

As promised, ‘King Art’ was back soon (much to someone’s dismay).

“Jeno, you’re right on schedule this year too… I swear to God that even when this place will become contaminated with some weird incurable disease, you guys will still be back-” Averting his eyes to Jaemin, Art noticed the presence of Jaemin.

“Jeno, you brat, you finally did it?”

“Did what?”

“Get yourself a man, stupid. I mean, you didn’t even introduce me!”

Jeno shook his head as if he had just realized the people in his surroundings (damn that dimple).

“Oh, right! Art, this Jaemin Na, not “my man” and Jaemin this is Arthur Kingsley, a man who still sounds more rainbow than straight.” Art nudged Jeno, a bit more harshly than Jeno expected. Still a bit weird for you, huh? He thought.

“Hello Na Jaemin!” Art extended his hand to Jaemin.

“Hello King Art! It’s a pleasure to meet you!” Jaemin shook Art’s hand and that’s when Jeno panicked. Jeno was stuck between two boys who had very much succeeded in making him one hell of a smitten teenager.

Jaemin and Art seemed to have hit it off. But, what made Jeno worried was how he couldn’t ignore Art’s hand that had snaked its way around Jeno’s waist and his chin resting on his shoulder and how it made him shiver when Art’s exhaled warm air out his nose. He liked Jaemin now. He couldn’t toss his heart to another court entirely now. But, what made Jeno worried was that his heart would skip a beat every single time slender fingers made doodles on his protruding pelvic bone through his t-shirt and how he wanted to just turn around to melt in Art’s arms around him. Shit.

 A heart skips a beat.

A heart beats fast.

A heart aches.

Someone’s breathing hitches.

Someone’s fingers tremble.

Someone’s heart aches.

 

~*~

_“Hey Jeno, I love you.” Jeno chuckles._

_“Arthur Kingsley… that sounds like a very royal name… Kingsley… King… King Arthur… King Art?” Calloused fingers moved carelessly on Jeno’s burning skin._

_“Mmh?”_

_“King Art, I like you.”_

_“Alas, you shouldn’t break a king’s heart with such harsh words…”Jeno shook his head as he laughed softly._

_“Do you want me to love you, Art?”_

_“I would love it if you loved me… But, I know your fist sized heart is too cold to “love” someone… Alas, you love my royalty, not me!” The two laughed as softly as the breeze that was blowing on the roof._

_Jeno looked at the stars. It was weird what they shared, him and Arthur. It was funny, confusing, stupid yet beautiful._

_“Hey Art, I love you.”_

 

*~*

Naïve kids and their stupidity.

Jeno Lee and his stupidity.

Jeno ignored Jaemin the whole day. He did not participate in the house tour. He didn’t show him the “Jeno places” in the wood. He did not even celebrate that they were both going to be in the same room. He just laid on hid bed and stare up at the ceiling. He thought about Art’s fingers and why were they back on his waist. He thought and thought and remembered the night at the roof. He missed that feeling. The feeling of being at the right place even when it meant lying down on a roof with a person with whom you shared the most confusing yet beautiful relationship ever.

Jeno then remembered the look on Jaemin’s face the entire time they were in the store. He did well at hiding his emotions, that’s what Jeno wished he was doing. He was so irritated. He wanted Jaemin to be jealous and then kiss him mindless but he also wanted Art to be in love with him and kiss him mindless.

He was sure he wanted Art to be in love with him but he didn’t want himself to love Art. He also did not want to love Jaemin. Fuck, who was he kidding? He was sad only because Jaemin only watched him and Art in the store without a touch of jealousy. How could he expect Jaemin to love him when he didn’t love himself?

He kept staring up at the ceiling.

“What’s wrong Jeno? Tell me… Talk to me, Lee!”

Jeno choked on his spit when he heard Jaemin’s voice.

“Why didn’t you come join us for the tour or show me the so called “Jeno places” in the woods? Why did you ignore me since we went to the store? And who is this clingy Arthur?” Jeno couldn’t help but smile at the last question. Jaemin was jealous. Jeno shook his head as he left out a deep chuckle. Somehow, Jaemin being flustered put Jeno at ease.

Somehow hearing Jaemin's voice and seeing him pout in annoyance made Jeno's heart skip a beat. Somehow, seeing Jaemin made it alright...

“Were you jealous?” Jeno smirked at Jaemin. He saw Jaemin’s ears tinted pink. Cute, he thought.

“Yes, I was! I mean I don’t know about your boyfriend-“

“Not my boyfriend.”

“Whatever! Fuck Art, honestly. He gets called by his nickname and you don’t even have one for me! And also what is with the chin on shoulder thing and-”

Jaemin’s voice gets softer and quieter as Jeno gets up from his bed. He walks up to Jaemin who is hanging his Hawaiian shirt on one of the hooks behind the bedroom door. Wrapping one hand around the door knob, Jeno leans in closer to Jaemin’s body. His body shadows over Jaemin’s. Bringing his lips closer to Jaemin’s ear, Jeno realizes that Jaemin has stopped his rambling. He can see a hint of freckles on his ears too. The subtle, warm light of the bedroom lamp is not enough to hide the pink that is splattered across the boys’ ears and necks.

 

The breathing is heavier and faster.

Bodies are stiff, not wanting to move at all.

“But you don’t like your nickname being called out by random boys. Don’t you, _Nana_?” Thick, husky and heavy words slowly slip out Jeno’s mouth. His lips playing with fire as they slightly brush against the sensitive cartilage of Jaemin’s ear. The room feels too hot, even with the air conditioning. Jeno’s hands threaten to move without consent and find home somewhere other than the metal doorknob. Jeno seeks the sensation of Jaemin’s skin.

Before anything else happens, Jeno opens the door and walks out of the room.

He closes the door and walks away. He finds Ten, Taeyong, Lucas and Kun drinking beer in the T.V. room. Jeno joins them and chugs down one whole beer as quickly as he can.

His thoughts have vanished but sensations of wanting Jaemin still linger like leeches on his skin.

There is this one thought though.

Even though it was confusing yet beautiful with Arthur, it’s just beautiful with Jaemin.

Jeno promises to himself to love himself this summer so as to make Jaemin love him.

 

This summer, Jeno wanted flowers to bloom.

 

Jeno finally wanted to enjoy the spring of his life.

 

 

^·^·

My body quaked with feelings of want. My body became hot where his lips dared to brush the lightest stroke.

It felt as if petals were painting me with colours of the flowers that would bloom in spring.

Maybe, I was the spring flower he wanted to see bloom this summer.

Sensations of love and want.

“Do you feel them too, Jeno?” I asked myself as I lay on my bed, the name “Nana” ringing like a melody inside my body. 

___________

[MY TWITTER](https://twitter.com/sharan_got_jams?s=09)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE SOMEBODY TEACH ME HOW TO LINK MY TWITTER IN THE NOTE AND MAYHAPS RECOMMEND SOMETHING TO WATCH ON NETFLIX!!!! 
> 
> THNAKYOU EVERYONE!!! THANKYOU FOR 1K+ READS SKSKSKSKSKSK
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO, expect some irregular updates from now on! But updates will be there!! I have to finish this fic!


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